These Realities
by rainbowvillain
Summary: This world can be bent to our wills, and my will was simply to find love for myself and my friends...well, I found that in the Naruto reality, and a bit more than I could handle. If u dont like blood, dont read it all the way through...
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1the Problem

⌠You▓re grounded again!?!■ I heard Ramona yelling from the other end of the hall, my last day of school, I had just finished my last exam and was making my way to my Rebecca▓s locker. Our usual meeting spot, it had been since ninth grade, and now our junior year was coming to a close and I was graduating.

I turned a corner and spotted Caity looking around frantically, trying to find anyone to help calm Ramona down. ⌠Abbie!■ she called once she had spotted me, ⌠Hurry, Ramona▓s gonna kill Rebecca!■ I quickened my pace only slightly, so that I would be able to pull Ramona off of Becca if I had to.

To mine, and probably Rebecca▓s, relief Ramona had not yet pounced onto the girl, she was simply glaring at her. ⌠What▓s the problem?■ I asked, sounding much more tired than I really was, but after two years of Prozac mixed with therapy and about five other drugs I couldn▓t help it.

⌠Rebecca▓s grounded! She can▓t come to Jimmy Cone today!■ Ramona yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Becca, who shrugged and hung her head.

I sighed, it was just like Rebecca to pluck her mother▓s last nerve on the last week of school. ⌠Here,■ I handed her my cell phone, ⌠call your mother, I▓ll talk to her.■ She dialed the number and then handed me the phone.

After it rang three times her mother picked up, ⌠Hello?■ Came from the other end of the line and I put on my sweetest tone of voice.

⌠Hello, Mrs. Crapo?■ I said politely.

⌠Yes, who is this?■

⌠This is Rebecca▓s friend, Abbie Marcus. I was wondering if you would let Rebecca come to Jimmy Cone with us today?■

⌠No, I▓m sorry. She▓s grounded, or didn▓t she tell you?■

⌠I know, but, it▓s my last day. I just finished my last exam and I▓m graduating this year.■

⌠Oh, well congratulations, but she▓ll see you some time over the summer.■

⌠But, Mrs. Crapo, that▓s the problem. This weekend my mother, myself, and my brother and sister are going to Aruba. We▓re moving there.■

⌠Oh, I didn▓t know you would be moving so soon┘Well, if you can bring Rebecca home by five she can go with you.■

⌠Thank you, Mrs. Crapo, I really appreciate this.■

⌠You▓re very welcome. Good-bye. And good luck moving.■

⌠Thank you, I▓ll have Becca home on time.■ I closed the phone and stuffed it in my pocket, ⌠Well, aren▓t you all going to pile into my car?■ They grinned and I followed them out to the senior parking lot. My black jeep wrangler sat just outside school property, in its usual spot by the sidewalk. Ramona called shotgun and Rebecca groaned as she climbed into the back seat with Caity. I got into the driver▓s seat and turned on the car, then I shifted from park to drive and we were off.

⌠Are you really moving this weekend?■ Rebecca asked, leaning between me and Ramona.

⌠Next weekend, get your seatbelt on.■ I clarified, by this weekend I knew Rebecca would no longer be grounded and her mother will have forgotten our conversation. ⌠This weekend I▓m having a going away party, you all are coming, I▓m gonna pick up Lauren tomorrow and my little cousin Melia will be dropped off Saturday morning.■ I explained, they all nodded and then Ramona asks.

⌠Isn▓t Melia that cute little girl you got into Inuyasha?■ I smiled, stopping at the red light on main street.

⌠Yup, and now she▓s totally otaku, thanks to me. She▓s seen almost every episode of Inuyasha and Rurouni Kenshin, she owns all of the Fruits Basket DVD▓s, she▓s seen every episode of FLCL, and now she▓s reading Naruto.■ I grinned to myself, glad that at least one of my cousins was interested in the same things that I was. I had started her off with Inuyasha when she was seven, now she was ten and I was seventeen and whenever I babysat we would talk anime just to annoy her older sister.  
The way to describe my friends and I when we▓re together would be, a group of obsessive, schizophrenic, depressed psychopaths, just to be blunt.

That weekend started on Friday night, we all barricaded ourselves in my bedroom, which had almost nothing in it because it was all either at Good Will or in boxes, getting loaded onto a plane and delivered to a house in Aruba. We spent Friday night watching anime that we knew Melia couldn▓t watch, and talking about things we wouldn▓t be allowed to in front of my ten-year-old cousin.

Caity had brought Love Hina and some other old favorites, and Ramona had brought every Yaoi she could unearth in her home. Lauren had managed to burn the 3rd Naruto Movie onto a DVD for the party, and Rebecca had her Wolf▓s Rain and every other wolf related item she was allowed to own.

When Melia arrived we watched Fruits Basket for the millionth time and debated on character pairings. Melia and I agreed unwaveringly on Tohru-Yuki all the way, while Caity tried to defend her stand that Hatori-Tohru would be the best pairing. My argument was that Hatori and the teacher were already together and I was perfectly fine with that, so she should be too. Then Lauren stepped in and said that Kyo and Yuki should be together, everyone looked at her for a moment and then yelled, ⌠No!■ Although it was a yaoi pairing it couldn▓t be allowed, because I felt that Kyo and Arisa belonged together, while Arisa▓s ⌠boyfriend■, who was also Akito▓s slave, should be with Akito so that neither of them would be lonely. Then Caity and I began arguing over the best pairings for the others, we agreed that Shigure and Mit-Chan belonged together, but when I suggested that Ayame be with Ritsu Caity glared at me.

Finally we agreed to disagree and we let Melia choose a movie, she put the Naruto Movie into the PS2 and we let it play. By the time it was over Caity and I had gotten into another debate about pairings, while we agreed on Naruto-Kakashi and decided to just let Sakura have Sasuke we couldn▓t let anything else go un-argued. I thought that original characters were the only way to go with most of the characters in that show, Gaara, for example, had no chance with anyone besides an original character. Caity, however, had a long and passionate rant about why original characters would never be right ready to counter my argument.

By the end of our debate both of us were steaming, and everyone else was finding other things to do to occupy their time. I apologized to each about eight times, as was my little habit, and we all went outside at around midnight to look at the moon. It was full and the deepest blue I had ever seen, a shiver ran down my spine as I watched it and the other girls played a game of tag. There were no flashlights, and I live too far out to have any working streetlamps nearby, but I still knew exactly what went on.

One of my very few talents was my ability to see in the dark, I had spent most of my life in the dark so my eyes had to adjust to it eventually. Now I watched the group running around and once in a while I looked up at the moon, it was certainly rare to see a moon this shade of blue. I had learned from experience that weird things happened under the blue moon, anyone who dreamed on the night of a blue moon was blessed with happiness for the rest of their life. I smiled as I watched the moon and I wished for dreams to come my way on that night, I couldn▓t remember a time when I was ever truly happy, I wanted a blue moon dream more than anything.

⌠If I could be happy for just one day┘really┘truly┘genuinely happy┘I know everyone else would be satisfied.■ I whispered to the moon, ⌠And if you could send dreams to my friends tonight, as well┘I know they▓d appreciate it.■ I smiled at the moon momentarily and then went back to watching Caity almost trip over Melia and then hug her in apology, a habit that tended to get on my nerves but I had to admit, it was pretty cute to watch.

We went to bed at about one in the morning, laying down to sleep I watched everyone else fade off before me. I was always the last one to fall asleep, if I slept at all, and so I knew everyone▓s funny sleeping habits. Rebecca snored, only slightly but it was loud enough to hear from across the room, I smiled at how she▓d react in the morning to being told she had snored. Ramona and Caity, on the other hand, talked in their sleep, saying the stupidest and most random things I▓ve ever heard. Melia and Lauren both move around in their sleep, never in one position for long they sometimes end up sleeping with their feet on their pillow and their head under the blankets. My sleeping habit, though, was possibly the weirdest of them all, I sleep with my eyes open, so it▓s better that I fall asleep last and wake up first so as not freak anybody out.

As soon as I fade off, though, I▓m lost to the world until light pours through the window and the children start moving around downstairs. I wave away a large butterfly as I walk through a meadow of blue grass, the sky is a lavender purple while the clouds look like cotton candy. My friends wave to me from the lake and motion for me to join them, I shake my head and sit down with my white puppy-dog, stroking him about the head to which he responds by laying his head on my lap. ⌠I recognize you,■ I say to the puppy, ⌠Akamaru┘■ I look up to see Kiba looking down at me with a grin.

⌠Hey, Akamaru! You▓ve got a girlfriend? She▓s cute!■ I look around to see Rebecca, she had turned into a black puppy and was sitting beside Akamaru. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out, Kiba picked up Akamaru and Rebecca and walked away, me desperately trying to call after them. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder, I looked around to see Itachi looking down at me with a smirk.

⌠Hey, Kurumi, we should get going.■ I smiled and suddenly I was by the lake, watching Lauren walk away with Itachi by her side, both smiling broadly. Once more I tried to call after my friend, but nothing came out, I stood and looked toward the lake, there was no one there any longer. I walked slowly to the water▓s edge, and then I heard voices behind me, idle chatter that I couldn▓t make out completely. I turned to find Ramona sitting with Caity and playing a game with Melia, standing behind the girls were two men that I recognized but couldn▓t place.

One man said something and both girls stood, each taking one man▓s hand and Melia grabbing hold of Ramona▓s arm. I watched as Ramona lead Melia and Sasuke away by the hand, followed by Caity and Shino, arm-in-arm and watching each other like a pair of love-sick idiots. I stepped back and touched my cheek, my hand came away wet, and as I looked at it I saw something red. I turned back to the lake and looked into it to see my reflection, distorted by the water▓s surface, my eyes cried with tears red as blood. I wiped them away without a second thought and then looked at the sky, it was red now with clouds of pitch black. I went to wash my face, but as I dipped my hands into the water I noticed a red tint to it, I drew my hands out of it and watched the blood run down my fingers and back into the lake.

Standing suddenly I looked around to see that the lake had disappeared, I was in the middle of what looked like a desert, the wind blowing the sand around me. I began walking but soon found myself stuck to the ground, when I looked at my feet I saw two large dogs biting into my legs and holding me still. Then an army of strange bugs began crawling up my body, stopping at my neck and shoulders where they bit into my flesh and began sucking my blood. Then two pairs of red eyes appeared before me, one closer to the ground than the other, I struggled against the dogs at me feet and tried to pull the bloodsuckers off of me but I couldn▓t even move my body. I tried to scream but nothing came out, I fell to my knees consumed by a sudden cold and I hugged myself. Everything had disappeared and I was alone in a cold desert, under the light of a blood-red moon, that was when the eyes returned. They watched me for a minute and then disappeared again, only to be replaced by a complete and frighteningly still silence.

I was weeping, my red tears leaving marks in the white sand, my entire body was in pain and I couldn▓t find the strength to move. I fell forward and held myself up with my hands, suddenly I coughed and out of my dry throat came blood, spilling onto the sand where my tears had fallen. I gasped for air, unable to catch my breath, my arms became as weak as my legs and I fell onto my face. Unable to breathe, unable to move, unable to even call for help, I let myself cough up another helping of fresh blood as my red tears lulled me to sleep like a soft, comforting lullaby my mother used to sing to me. I took one last look at the violet sky and the blue moon before my vision blurred and all will to live left my body.

Unable to breathe. Unable to move. Unable to even call for help. Cold as ice from my heart to the very tips of my fingers. Slowly dieing and I am totally, completely, utterly alone. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2-A New Problem

I woke with a gasp, sitting bolt upright in my bed, ⌠What a dream┘■ I whispered to myself, running my fingers through my sandy blonde hair. I turned to look at my friends on the floor and first noticed that they weren▓t there, then I saw that the floor wasn▓t carpeted, but hardwood. I jumped out of my bed and threw the door open to see the inside of an apartment, at the end of a short hallway sat two more doors. I ran to them and threw the first open to find a room filled with neon green, bright orange, and hot pink. I stepped in and pulled the covers off of Lauren who moaned in protest and turned over, ⌠Lauren! Get up!■ I yelled, she opened her eyes for a moment and then closed them again, never willing to wake up before noon.

I sighed and ran out of the room to the one beside it, opening the door I found a bunk-bed with a makeshift couch underneath that was covered with stuffed animals. I climbed the ladder to where Caity lay sleeping, I watched her in silence a moment, tempted to simply shove her off the bed. Rethinking my decision I climbed down and left the room, coming back to my own room I actually looked around. A cheap iron bed with simple white sheets covering it, the corners cluttered with stuffed animals, piles of what looked like scrolls, and empty ramen cups. And then, on the far wall of my room I saw a door handle that looked like it had been made to blend into the wall. I pulled it and a hidden door opened, revealing a pink bedroom filled with more stuffed animals than I had ever seen in my life. I looked at the pink bed and found my little cousin laying there, sleeping like a baby. I patted her head lightly and left her to sleep, I opened the door to her bedroom to find two other closed doors. I opened the first to find black walls covered in chains and handcuffs hanging from the ceiling, a whip lay in the corner of the room and a spiked collar sat upon a dressing table. I slowly shut the door, deciding it best to let Ramona sleep, and I entered the last room to find the walls covered in pictures of wolves. I rolled my eyes and shut the door, everyone was accounted for, now I could find out what was going on.

Back in my own room I found a closet in which I found the perfect outfit for myself, black pants with a brown belt to let hang from my hip. A fish-net shirt was the closest to an actual shirt I could find, and over it I wore a gray, hooded jacket lined in black fur, that barely fell below my chest. Then I went to my dressing table to find a chopstick, I put my hair up in a bun and covered it with the hood. That was when I noticed a headband set off to the side of the table, I picked it up and flipped it over to find a metal plate with a crescent moon carved into it. Smiling brightly I tied it around my neck like a necklace and checked the drawer in the table, there I found my shuriken holster and I wrapped it around my belt.

I checked on everyone once more, before I left the odd apartment and decided to explore wherever I may have been. As soon as I stepped out of the building I noticed a group of people right across the street, they were crowding around something so I stepped forward to see. That was when I noticed that everyone in the crowd was a boy, and most of them wore the same hitai-ate as I did. Taking a deep breath a stepped into the crowd, pushing boys twice my size aside so that I could see what they were all falling over. When I reached it I knew why they all looked so awed, it was a listing and at the top of the paper in bold letters it read: Kuraigakure Genin who have PASSED the Chunin Selection exam this year

I studied the list and I found five female names, along with at least ten other names belonging to boys and one that I knew could belong to either. I looked around at all of the boys, one of them smiled in my direction and stepped forward, ⌠Tsukasa,■ he said, ⌠Looks like you got the top score, just like you to almost fail in school and then ace the actual important stuff.■ I assumed he was talking to someone else so I began walking away, that was when he grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. ⌠Hey! I▓m talking to you!■ At first I was surprised, if I was Tsukasa then my name was on the list, and that meant that the other five girls had to have been the ones who were right below me on the list. Then I realized that he boy now gripping my shoulder was challenging me, he probably hadn▓t passed this year and was bitter about it.

⌠Who are you?■ I asked, not really caring but trying to get my point across that he didn▓t matter to me. When he gripped tighter on my shoulder and balled his other hand into a fist, I drew my own fist back and brought it forward, into his stomach. I had expected him to let go of me, what I had not expected was for him to be sent flying into the crowd and crashing into at least three boys who had not been smart enough to get out of the way. I stood there with wide eyes for a moment and then I huffed and turned on my heal, running back to the apartment to wake everyone up and tell them what happened.

As soon as I had dragged everyone out of bed and to the kitchen in my apartment, I asked them all what my name was. They responded with my American name and I shook my head, ⌠No, my name is Tsukasa┘■ they stared at me in silence for a moment before laughing. I smacked Rebecca and Lauren over the back of their heads because they were closest to me, then I said, ⌠Incase you haven▓t noticed, guys! We▓re not at my house!■ They fell silent and they looked around nervously.

⌠What do you mean?■ Melia asked, her large brown eyes focused on me with innocent fright, she would break down if I made it sound too morbid.

⌠I mean, I don▓t think we▓re in Kansas anymore, Toto.■ She began to giggle at my small joke, but the others stood and retreated to their rooms to get dressed as I took Melia to her room to find her an outfit. We picked out a cute blue skirt, a matching blue top that let her belly show, and a white scarf for her. But, because I thought she was too young to wear anything revealing, she agreed to wear bandages around her middle to keep herself covered, and as she did that I wrapped her shuriken holster around her right leg.

⌠What▓s that?■ she asked, looking down at me curiously as I handed her the hitai-ate that she was to where.

⌠This,■ I pointed to the holster, ⌠is a shuriken holster, to hold throwing stars. It▓s like what Naruto wears.■ I tied the hitai-ate around her tiny middle, ⌠And this is a hitai-ate, it means you▓re a journeyman ninja, and you get a ninja name to go with your ninja outfit, okay?■ She nodded with a smile, open to the idea of being a ninja, I stood and began putting her hair in a ponytail as I thought about what her name was supposed to be. I could remember all of the girl names on the list, I just couldn▓t figure out which one belonged to which girl. ⌠What do you think, peach-fuzz?■ I asked, calling her by the nickname I had given her when she was younger.

⌠How about peach? You call me that all the time!■ I smiled as I remembered the names, she had gotten it on the first try.

⌠Good job! From now on you▓re Momo, you can▓t tell anyone your real name okay? As long as we▓re here you use your ninja name, okay?■ She nodded, a great grin crossing her face, she seemed to be liking this game, but she had no idea how much it would scar her the first time she had to spill blood. I sighed and lead her into my apartment, where I found everyone waiting for us in the kitchen.

Ramona wore black leather everything, her hitai-ate wrapped around her forehead and her black hair up in buns on each side of her head, held in by chains that dangled off the bottoms. On her right sat Lauren, her black hair put up in pigtails with fuzzy orange scrunches, she wore an orange turtleneck that showed her midriff and low-riding blue jeans. On Ramona▓s left sat Caity, a look of utter horror on her face, she wore a black scarf with the basic, stereotypical ninja outfit, her hitai-ate worn like a headband in her violet hair. And sitting across from Ramona was Rebecca, her ebony hair braided and resting in the hood of a gray hoodie, underneath which she wore a fishnet shirt and blue jeans.

Melia, now Momo, sat across from Lauren and I sat across from Caity, watching her a moment with a cocked eyebrow I finally said, ⌠You look like a fucking power ranger┘■ She looked at me with wide brown eyes, before shooting a glare at me and standing so fast she tipped her chair over backwards.

⌠You!■ she pointed an accusing finger at me, ⌠You did this! You▓re the fan fiction writer who came up with this god damned village! You did your stupid ass fucking magic shit and brought us all here on purpose!! You▓re the one who made us all into original characters!! I hope you rot in hell for this, Abbie, because if you don▓t I▓ll break into heaven and drag you down with me!!!■

I let her get all of the hot air out of her system before smiling at her and saying, ⌠I don▓t have any more of an idea how we got here than you, so why don▓t you sit down and eat your breakfast while I try to figure this out? Okay, babe?■ She looked like she was going to yell at me some more then seemed to figure it wouldn▓t do any good and sat down, hanging her head over the table as though she would rather die than be here.

I sighed and thought back to the list of names, I could scratch off Momo because that was Melia▓s name, I knew. The other four, though, would be hard to figure out. I tried to place them by looks, but I knew that probably wouldn▓t work, so I tried another method of elimination. I remembered that right beneath my name was Kaoru┘▒Which one of them would be my second? Hell, which one is better than me at everything?▓ I looked at Ramona and smiled, ⌠Ramona, you▓re Kaoru. You got second in the chunin listings.■

She sort of watched me for a moment and then nodded and said, ⌠I can live with that, but I have no clue who would be better at kicking ass than me┘■ Then Rebecca began laughing.

⌠No one except ▒mother dearest▒,■ she said, calling me by my nickname, ⌠come on, Abbie, you know you▓re the only one who▓d ever be able to beat Ramona▓s ass. If only cause you▓re the only one who▓s not afraid to fight her.■

I shook my head, ⌠No, if anything I▓d be her equal in an all-out fight, but I don▓t know how I got number one┘anyway,■ I said, trying to change the subject, ⌠third was Kurumi┘I can only assume that would be Lauren because I know I heard some guys talking about Kurumi being a rainbow-colored bitch.■

Lauren grinned, ⌠Yup, that▓s me!■ she said proudly, ⌠And I got third? Sweet, maybe I▓ll get better than Itachi┘■ Caity almost choked on the air she was breathing, she then stood and glared at Lauren.

⌠How could you say something like that!?! You▓re suggesting pairings!! No! I will not stand by and let you idiots ruin the best ninja anime ever!! I can▓t let any of you leave the village!!!■ Everyone looked at her with complete boredom and she sat down, hanging her head once more.

⌠Any-who┘■ I sighed, then rounded on Rebecca, ⌠after Kurumi came Momo, which I know is Melia. Then there was Haruko, Becca, wasn▓t the name Haruharu Haruko on the inside of your bedroom door?■ Becca nodded and I pointed to her, ⌠You got fifth place in the listings and after you came┘■ I turned toward Caity, ⌠Mamimi┘■ Caity was about to stand once more and continue her rant when Ramona grabbed her shoulder and held her down. ⌠Now, does everyone remember their names?■

Everyone nodded, Caity joined them with a solemn look upon her face, and then Ramona said, ⌠Okay, but what are our last names? Only Becca┘I mean, Haruko knows what her last name is.■

I smiled, ⌠Luckily for us,■ I said, ⌠They had last names on the listing too! The names were: Tsukioka Tsukasa, Karada Kaoru, Kumori Kurumi, Mondai Momo, Haruharu Haruko, and Matchi Mamimi.■ Everyone stared at me, ⌠What?! I▓m not a complete idiot all the time!■ Then they began laughing, I joined in and it was so loud in that kitchen that I almost didn▓t hear the knock on the door. ⌠Hey, guys, I think someone▓s at the door.■ they kept laughing, ⌠you guys it wasn▓t that funny.■ They still didn▓t stop, ⌠Okay, shut up! All of you!■ I commanded as I stood and walked to the door which was now being banged on from outside.

When I opened it I was greeted by a tall man in a black Kimono that fell to the floor, he wore a hat with the kanji for night on it and I swallowed hard, knowing exactly who he was. ⌠Tsukioka Tsukasa?■ He asked and I nodded slowly, ⌠and the others are the other top five from the exam?■ I nodded and he smiled at me, ⌠I won▓t eat you, girl. Aren▓t you going to ask me in?■

I snapped out of my trance instantly and said, ⌠Oh! Right! I▓m sorry, I┘um┘sorry.■ I stepped aside to let him into the apartment and everyone looked at him curiously, and I knew they had no clue who he was. ⌠Guys, this is the Yorukage,■ when no one responded I added in a low tone, ⌠He▓s like the Hokage except for Kuraigakure.■ They all nodded and stood suddenly in respect, even Caity which stunned me slightly.

⌠Well, girls, I▓m glad you could all be here at once. Now I don▓t have to track you all down.■ I smiled nervously and then pursed my lips, ⌠I know this is probably a time of celebration for you all because each of you did excellently in the chunin selection exam for this village, and I congratulate each of you. But there are more important matters at hand.■ I breathed in heavily, I had written enough fan fictions about this village to know what was happening, and I wasn▓t sure any of us were really ready for it.

⌠Um┘Yorukage-San,■ I said with a bow, ⌠I think it would be best if we all sat down for this, don▓t you?■

He smiled guiltily and said, ⌠Yes, I suppose it would be better for you all to sit down.■ We all took our seats at the table and he sat at the head, looking prestigious and important with his hands clasped together on the table and his back perfectly straight. ⌠Girls, I have come to you because of the current disagreement between myself and the Kazekage. I▓m afraid this disagreement has lead to a series of battles between our chunin and those of the village of sand, what I need from you six is a matter of my family▓s security.■ We all nodded, focusing on him, ⌠My two sons have not yet passed our chunin selection exam, I do believe that one of them received a proper punishment this morning for taking it out on you, Tsukioka-Dono?■ I blushed, I had no idea that the kid I had punched was the Yorukage▓s son, not that it would have mattered but it would have made more sense to me why he was so bitter.

⌠Anyway, I need you girls to escort my boys from Kuraigakure to our only ally right now, Konohagakure.■ We all smiled slightly, holding in our excitement, ⌠You are responsible for my sons▓ safety from the moment you all leave the village until you reach Konohagakure, but once you are there I am afraid I must ask you to stay put until I can bring my boys home. Are there any problems with this plan?■ We shook our heads, still trying to hide our fan girl grins, and the Yorukage stood as did I. ⌠Then meet my boys at the village gate at sunrise tomorrow, they know the way to Konoha, all you have to do is make sure they▓re both alive when you get there.■ We nodded and he smiled kindly, ⌠Thank you, all, and farewell.■ Once he had disappeared through the doorway and down the hall I started giggling hysterically, as did almost everyone else.

Caity sat in her chair like a lump, refusing to join in the fan girl rejoicing, and that▓s when I froze. ⌠Hey, guys┘do any of you know how to use your chakra?■ They paused, looking at me blankly, and then stopped their giggle fit.

⌠Well, we made it to the top six spots in the chunin exam out of, how many people?■ Ramona asked, looking at me for an answer.

⌠Well, at least twenty people passed the exam, and we were the only girls.■ I said slowly, ⌠and that has to be out of at least fifty people who competed in the exam. This village is bigger than it looks and most of the occupants are nocturnal, so it wouldn▓t surprise me if almost a hundred participants were in the exam. Which would mean only five percent of them passed.■

⌠Good job, Abbie, you can actually do some math.■ Lauren joked and I cuffed her over the back of her head.

⌠My point is┘■ Ramona continued, ⌠that we should be able to, we▓ll just have to do what our instincts tell us, we▓ll get the hang of it on the way.■ She smiled and I decided not to argue, after all, we probably wouldn▓t end up fighting anyone that strong on the way. Although, with my luck Gaara and the others would show up and we▓d all be crushed like little ants in that damned sand of his.

⌠Well,■ I said, shrugging off Ramona▓s theory and replacing it with my own, ⌠I might as well get the hang of it today, unless I feel like getting killed by the first ninjas we meet. I▓m gonna go practice┘■ With that I left them to do whatever they wanted, as I found the spot I had mentioned in my fan fictions. A place just outside the guarded walls of Kuraigakure that only I would ever know about, because, you see, I never shared those fan fictions. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3-New Names and A Job To Do

We all were up early and at the village gate by sunrise, we met two boys, one glaring at me in anger. He was the boy I had laid out yesterday, I simply smiled at him warmly and waved. The boy beside him smiled back and waved at me, his hand extended high above his head in greeting. We all walked up to them and Kaoru quickly asked their names, ⌠I▓m Kaji, my brother is Shinderu, we▓re twins.■

⌠I noticed,■ Haruko said in a bored tone, ⌠You two look almost exactly alike.■ Indeed they did, both had black hair, Kaji▓s was spiked, though, while Shinderu▓s hung down to his shoulders. They both had identical green eyes and a pale complexion, which betrayed their nocturnal habits. They both wore black pants, Kaji wearing a dark blue shirt over fishnet, while Shinderu bore dark green in the same fashion.

⌠So, shall we get going?■ I said, watching Kurumi cling to each boy▓s arm and grin proudly, as though she could really protect them. She was such a flirt, but as soon as one of her characters showed up, I knew, she would return to the fan girl personality that I knew so well.

We had been walking for hours in silence when the fog began creeping over us, I looked around with lowered eyelids. ⌠You guys, I think we should stop.■ I suggested slowly from the rear of the group, stopping in my tracks.

They all looked back at me and slowed their step to a stop, ⌠What▓s up, Tsuka-Chan?■ Haruko asked, looking at me over her shoulder.

⌠It▓s too foggy, I don▓t think we should continue, unless we want to fall into a trap.■ I said softly, glaring in the direction of a new pair of footsteps. There were two men coming toward us, I turned to them and motioned to the others to stay put. ⌠Kaoru┘Kurumi┘come with me.■ Both girls followed me through the fog and toward the men.

We came nearer to the oncoming footsteps and suddenly they stopped, I froze on the spot, Kurumi and Kaoru almost ran into me from my sudden stop. ⌠No fucking way┘■ I said softly and then stepped back, shoving Kurumi forward.

⌠Hey! What was that for, bitch?■ Kurumi asked, stumbling forward and then glaring back at me over her shoulder.

⌠Stand up straight, stupid, and try to stay calm when you see who▓s dropped by for a visit. Remember, no fan girl stuff.■ That was when two tall men in cloaks and funny-looking hats stepped through the fog, I smiled and began laughing to myself as Kurumi and Kaoru gasped.

We all knew who they were, but the first to voice our identical thoughts was Kurumi ⌠Uchiha Itachi! I can▓t believe it▓s really Itachi!!■ With that she leapt forward and, before any of us could see where she had landed, she was latched onto Itachi, who▓s hat had fallen to the ground and was staring at her in utter confusion. Her arms were wrapped around his waist, his sharingan focused on her grinning face as she buried it in his chest. Kisame watched this unexpected display of affection toward his partner with an entertained smile.

⌠Who are you? And why are you hugging me?■ Itachi asked in complete confusion, to which Kurumi answered with a squeal and a grin, tightening her grip around the man▓s waist.

⌠She▓s your fan girl, Ita-Chan,■ I said confidently, smiling at the pair knowingly, ⌠Possibly the only girl crazy enough to hug you┘and probably the only girl in the world stupid enough to ask you a question like, ▒will you please pull down your pants?▓■ At this Kurumi gasped and looked up to Itachi with a look of urgency in her features.

⌠That reminds me, Itachi, will you please pull down your pants? I want to see how big you are.■ He gave her a look of disgust and confusion, and Kaoru began laughing hysterically as I hid my face in my hand and laughed silently.

Finally I looked up and stepped forward, ⌠Leave the poor boy alone, will you? He looks mortified.■ Kurumi simply grinned at me and tightened her hold on Itachi, then I grabbed her by her hair and pulled her off of him. ⌠I▓m sorry, Ita-Chan, she tends to get like this a lot. Come on, bitch, when we get to Konoha you can latch yourself onto Uke-Chan instead.■

⌠But┘Sasuke▓s not as cool as Itachi!■ Then she looked at Kisame, who watched the scene curiously from under his hat. ⌠Oh! Kisame! My sexy fish!■ I rolled my eyes and let her run and tackle Kisame.

⌠My apologies, Kisa-Chan, she▓s just weird like this.■ Then I picked up Itachi▓s hat and tossed it around a few times. ⌠It▓s too bad I forgot my hat, it was just like this one, oh well.■ I placed the hat atop my own head and began walking away, ⌠Come on, girls■ I called back at the still laughing Kaoru and Kurumi who was now cuddling Kisame mercilessly.

⌠Excuse me, but you▓ve taken my hat.■ Itachi said, appearing before me and leaning down to look me in the eyes.

⌠Oh? Well, that▓s too bad, I▓m sure you▓ll be able to find another one.■ I smiled and tapped his nose with my finger before brushing past him without a second thought, not exactly the smartest thing to do. He grabbed my shoulder and, as an involuntary reflex, I grabbed his arm and flipped him onto his back in front of me. ⌠Ah! I am so sorry! Reflex! I really didn▓t mean to do that!■ I said frantically apologizing for what I had done.

⌠Who are you, girl?■ He asked, looking up at me with his sharingan and for a split second he looked temptingly sexy.

Shocked, I backed off and blushed softly as I looked down at him with my large brown eyes, ⌠My name is Tsukioka Tsukasa of Kuraigakure and I am very sorry about my friend, she can▓t contain herself.■ I reached out a hand to help him to his feet, he took it but instead of climbing to his feet he pulled me to the ground, with him.

⌠How old are you girls?■ He asked, holding me close to himself and causing me to feel extremely uncomfortable.

⌠Umm┘I▓m seventeen and they▓re sixteen┘why?■ He gave me a strange look and it was all I could do not to knee him in the crotch and run screaming, because he was my age. Or at least he was the last time I checked. His hand clung to my wrist and I can▓t remember exactly what happened next, except that the next second I was straddling his back and holding one of his arms beneath me and stepping on the other. I jumped up and called to Kurumi, ⌠Ku-Chan! Come and get him!■

No sooner had the words left my mouth than Kurumi had latched herself, once more, onto Itachi▓s middle and grinning broadly. ⌠We should get going,■ Kaoru spoke finally, ⌠the others will be wondering what happened to us. Kurumi, we▓ve gotta go. You▓ll see Ita-Chan again, I promise.■ Though reluctant to leave her red-eyed psycho behind, Kurumi eventually detached herself from Itachi and was being towed away by both Kaoru and myself.

We returned to the others, brushed off their inquiries, and continued on our way. As one can imagine I believed that encounter would be the last of our troubles, and the worst. If Kurumi kept up her fan-girl behavior around all of our enemies then we wouldn▓t have much trouble with anyone, especially if they all responded like Kisame and Itachi. Speaking of which, I reached up and touched the brim of the hat I still wore, the hat I had stolen from Itachi without much trouble at all. Suddenly I found myself lost in thought, ▒Itachi is supposed to be one of the most powerful jounin ever┘how did I, a chunin fresh out of the selection exam, manage to beat him to the ground? And I wasn▓t even thinking about it┘what about the others? None of them were far behind me in the listings, not even Momo┘maybe┘I wonder┘what are our special powers, I mean we have to have some kind of cool ninja abilities. I mean, sure, I can walk on a ceiling without a second thought, but that▓s only ▒cause I practiced yesterday┘this ninja shit is going to take some serious getting used to.▓

I hadn▓t even realized how much time had passed by the time I looked up and escaped my thoughts, the sun was already setting and the others seemed to be stopping for the night. I found a place to sit and I watched everyone else set up for that night, as I looked around I found that I knew this place. ⌠It▓s the halfway point,■ I pointed out and everyone paused, ⌠that statue of Buddha, travelers a from Konoha stop here to pay their respects and pray for a safe night▓s rest.■ I pointed across the road to a tall, worn, golden statue with old food and other offerings at its feet. I sat upon a large boulder directly across from it, everyone set up to sleep behind the boulder and hidden from the road as I prepared for a sleepless night of watching their asses.

It was probably around midnight when they all finally fell asleep, that was when I hopped down from my seat on the boulder and strolled across the road to the statue of Buddha. At his feet I laid one of my favorite chopsticks, it was cherry wood and had the kanji Inochi-meaning ⌠life⌠-carved into it. I bowed, my head lowered, my hands clapped together before my bowed head and I silently prayed for an eventful trip full of good fortune for my friends, as long as they were happy I could be as well.

I returned to my post shortly and sat, not facing my friends, but facing Buddha, if only to show my respect for the man. I had heard his story in so many different ways I could hold nothing less than the deepest respect for the one who reached nirvana, found that one cannot choose one extreme over the other, but take them both in equal portions and you will be truly enlightened. That was part of what I gathered from I▓d heard and studied about his life, the other parts were a bit more complex than simply equal portions and, to be honest, I never really understood that much.

Anyway, I had been sitting still for a long while before I heard any noise, a rustling in the bushes and a pair of eyes looking out at me. I hopped down from the boulder and crouched by the bushes, hand extended warmly. ⌠Come on, little guy, it▓s alright. Come on┘■ slowly, cautiously, out from the bushes crawled a black fox, its ears and tail tipped in white. ⌠Oh, aren▓t you adorable?■ I reached into my pocket and pulled out my pocky stash, I broke a bit off the end of a chocolate one and held out to the fox.

The fox sniffed my hand carefully, being sure not to come too close, then it sniffed at the pocky and watched me warily as it slowly took the pocky from my hand. As soon as it had the food it bolted back into the bushes and I smiled after it, I had never seen a black fox before, it had been a real treat. But not even a minute had passed before another creature came sneaking out of the bushes, blue eyes and brown fur, I couldn▓t believe it. ⌠Ha ha ha,■ I laughed softly in disbelief, a small raccoon was watching me with puppy dog eyes, it had obviously seen the fox with the pocky and come running. I pulled another stick of pocky out of my pocket and handed him one half as I munched on the other, without a moments hesitation the raccoon snatched the pocky from my hand and began eating it. ⌠Well, you▓re either very hungry or very greedy.■ I said with a smile and the raccoon looked up at me with large eyes.

⌠No, you can▓t have anymore, sorry. Chocolate▓s not good for you if you have too much, I can▓t give you any more.■ I smiled down at the pleading look of the raccoon and thanked Kaoru silently for her years of pouts and pleading expressions, otherwise I wouldn▓t be able to resist the impossible cuteness of this fuzzy animal. I stood and walked back to my boulder, and as I sat atop it once more the raccoon climbed up and bravely sat in my lap. ⌠What? I told you, hon, I can▓t give you anymore chocolate.■

Still he looked at me silently, he didn▓t want the pocky anymore, I reached out to touch him and he simply watched my hand warily. My hand touched his soft head and his eyes shut lightly, he wasn▓t used to being handled by a human, and he shouldn▓t want to either. Why was this raccoon hanging around me anyway?

That question was answered in the next second when the little black fox returned, this time seeming braver, he crawled up to me and attempted to join the raccoon in my lap. The raccoon, however, pushed the fox away and cuddled close to me. In response to this the fox growled and pounced on the raccoon and they began to fight in my lap, I almost fell over at first, then I grabbed each by the scruff of their neck and held them apart from each other. ⌠I assume you two know each other?■ They quieted down and I rolled my eyes, ⌠Listen, I don▓t support fighting┘over stupid things┘■ I added as I remembered that I was a ninja at the moment. ⌠Never mind. Anyway, you both need to start heading home, okay?■ I set them on the ground and both turned to face me, neither making a move to leave, both watching me with pleading eyes. ⌠You want to stay with me?■

⌠┘■

⌠Well┘I don▓t know┘it could get dangerous and I wouldn▓t want you to get hurt┘■

⌠┘┘■

⌠Umm┘what are your names?■

The fox cocked its head, ⌠┘■ and then the raccoon did the same, ⌠┘■

⌠Well, then, Mamoru┘Hogo┘you should rest up, cause I▓m not carrying you both to Konoha.■ They both ran forward and Hogo (the raccoon) hugged one of my legs as Mamoru (the fox) rubbed his body against the other. I lifted both of them in my arms and set them in my lap as I sat back on my boulder, then I petted their heads softly as I began humming a soft lullaby. Me being part Irish I knew quite a few Irish lullabies that my mother had sung to me, my favorite was the traditional lullaby.

As I sang the tune both animals seemed to become instantly tired, their eyelids dropped and they were soon fast asleep. I smiled down at the sleeping fuzz-balls and let my lullaby keep its affect, they looked so adorable as they slept under the protection of my presence. I was glad that I would be bringing them along, they would make for a pair of wonderful late-night companions on the nights that I couldn▓t sleep. Which should soon be every night because I no longer had the medicine I needed to get to sleep at night, I would be nocturnal until we returned home┘if we ever did. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4-Day Two: Arrival In Konoha

Day two didn▓t turn out to be as long as I had expected it to be, Kurumi was now in a good mood since she had sufficiently groped her favorite psychotic murderers. Not to mention my two new friends, who kept me from killing her as she ranted the same things over and over again. Hogo and Mamoru, the raccoon and black fox who had approached me the night before, spent almost the entire trip fighting over one thing or another. I couldn▓t leave them alone long enough to kill Kurumi so I suppose that▓s good. Kaoru and Mamimi fell into a whispered conversation as they led us along, and Haruko occupied the boys by throwing them into trees or punching them out and carrying them until they woke up. I sighed as she lifted Shinderu for the fourth time, ⌠Haru-Chan! Jesus Christ! They▓re supposed to be alive when we reach Konoha┘all the way! Not just half-way!■

Haruko could only grin at me and laugh and I rolled my eyes, sighing once more and pulling Hogo and Mamoru off of one another again. I placed Hogo with Momo who smiled brightly and snuggled the struggling raccoon lovingly, I knew she wouldn▓t let him go unless I told her to, she was just cool like that. As I allowed Mamoru to climb up and ride on the top of my head I saw something in the distance and I smiled, knowing we had made good time for a two-day trip. ⌠Guys! Guess where we are!■ I announced and everyone was ecstatic that we had finally arrived at the gates of Konohagakure, and standing there, awaiting our arrival was the fifth Hokage. The girls and I quickly dropped the boys off with the Hokage and entered the village, ⌠Alright, everyone meander mindlessly as long as you want. But I want all of us back here at sundown, and don▓t ask, ▒or else what?▓!■ With that everyone took off in their own direction and I knew my first stop, the Ichiraku Ramen bar!

I stopped there and got a few bowls of ramen before beginning my actual wandering, when that started, though, so did our problems. First I walked by a store window and noticed something shiny inside. Of course I turned to see what it was, and in that split second when I had my head turned and all of my attention focused on the shiny object someone decided to trample me. I fell backward and hit the ground hard, my butt pained and my temper quickly rising I glared up at the person who now stood above me. ⌠I▓m sorry! I▓m afraid I didn▓t see you there!■ I growled low in my throat at this comment, sensitive to my vertical handicap, but it was as I felt my eyes burning that I realized exactly who had run into me.

⌠Kaka┘baka┘?■ I heard myself whisper the stupid nickname that I had given him as I had watched him in the show. He looked at me in confusion and I shook my head, as though to shake off the nickname, ⌠I┘I mean, Kakashi? Hatake Kakashi?■

He reached out a hand to me and asked, ⌠Do I know you?■

⌠Oh! No!■ I blurted out, ⌠But I┘I▓ve heard of you┘I▓m from Kuraigakure, my friends and I were sent to escort the Yorukage▓s sons to the Hokage▓s place┘■ seeing the expression of disbelief on his face I looked suddenly put-out, hanging my head and my arms hang limp. ⌠┘and you don▓t really care, do you?■

⌠No, it▓s not that! It▓s just┘you look a little┘young, to be a jounin.■ Kakashi said, choosing his words carefully, I could tell, he was going to say ⌠short■ before he said ⌠young■, but I let it slide for now.

⌠That▓s probably because I▓m not a jounin, I▓m just the top chunin in my village.■ I said in a bored tone, my eyelids half lowered as Kakashi mirrored my look.

⌠Just the top?■ he asked.

⌠Chunin!■

⌠Yes, but you▓re still number one, right?■

⌠Yes┘but I▓m still only a chunin! I only took the exam a few weeks ago. And I only found out I was at the top yesterday┘■

⌠But that doesn▓t stop the fact that you▓re at the top.■

⌠You know what, Kakashi┘I--■ I froze suddenly as I heard a fan-girlish squeal carry to my ears, I sighed exasperatedly and made sure that Mamoru was still latched onto my head. I then disappeared, making my way to find Kurumi, wherever she was making trouble. I found her not too far away, standing near a group of familiar faces and smiling with sparkles in her eyes. ⌠Kurumi! What in the hell are you doing?■ I asked, glaring at her dangerously, but she didn▓t notice she only pointed.

⌠It▓s him! Kawaii! He▓s even cuter in person! Look! Look, Tsuka-Chan!■ The entire group was staring at her with expectant eyes, all I could do was shake my head with a sigh. They all thought they knew who she was talking about, but I knew they were all wrong by a long shot. I, on the other hand, knew exactly which boy she was talking about, and everyone else soon found out when she was suddenly latched onto Naruto with a bright grin.

Everyone stared at her in astonishment as Naruto stumbled backward slightly from the force of her glomp, she was certainly good at this fan girl stuff. Sasuke stood beside them, watching the scene with one raised eyebrow, and I smiled at him. I walked smoothly over to him and shoved my hands in my pockets as I stood beside him, a smug smirk crossing my face. ⌠Well, Uke-Chan, looks like you must be loosing your touch with the girls. But I still think you▒re cute, Uke-Chan.■ He looked at me for a moment and I smiled at him brightly, giggling like a fan girl just to sound cute.

To my complete and utter surprise his cheeks turned a very light pink, and he looked away from me and said, ⌠humph.■

The only thing I found the strength to do was smile and say, ⌠Oh! Uke-Chan is so cute!!■ Then I glanced over to Kurumi and Naruto, she was grinning evilly and Naruto looked like a ripened tomato, which told me that she had done something bad. ⌠Kurumi! What did you do to the poor kid?!■

⌠I did nothing! I only grabbed his ass!■ Kurumi said, flinging her hands above her head to stress her innocence.

I glared at her and stepped up to stand beside Naruto, ⌠Naru-Chan, what happened?■ He said nothing, he simply held his crotch protectively. I saw this and then turned to glare at Kurumi who stood rubbing the back of her head and laughing guiltily.

⌠Well┘I might have grabbed him there┘but he feels pretty big!■ She tried to defend her actions, but it didn▓t stop me from punching the top of her head.

⌠You idiot! If you wanted to grope a guy▓s front, why didn▓t you settle the urge with Kisame and Itachi?!■ I growled at her and paused, looking over my shoulder to see Sasuke watching me with wide eyes and a horrified expression. ⌠You want something, Uke-Chan?■ I asked as though I had no idea why he was staring at me.

He grabbed my wrist then, and he pulled me aside so that no one could hear our conversation. That was when he hissed at me, ⌠How do you know Itachi?!■

⌠Huh?■ I said, pulling back slightly and then smiling guiltily while rubbing the back of my head. ⌠Well,■ I said finally, ⌠we kind of┘bumped into him on our way over. Heh┘■ then I grabbed the boy▓s hands suddenly and held them up in mine, taking a deep breath I continued, ⌠and I didn▓t mean to! I really didn▓t! The whole thing was an accident, I swear! But┘I pretty much┘kicked his ass┘■ Sasuke looked hypnotized as he gawked at me, all I could do was squeeze his hands in mine and hope that he didn▓t make a move to start a fight.

When he finally came out of his trance he glared at me with his now complete sharingan, and he said simply, ⌠Fight me.■

At first I felt frightened by this challenge, then I felt angry that he would challenge me that easily, then I felt stupid for telling him in the first place, then Sunshine▓s voice rang through my head, ⌠You know you don▓t have to accept┘just shove him off■

⌠But, Sunshine, he▓ll just come after me!■

⌠So tell him you▓ll fight him some other time■

⌠I don▓t know how to say it without sounding like a bitch!■

⌠But you are a bitch┘remember?■

⌠Oh┘right┘but still┘I would rather not fight him at all, and I don▓t want him to hate me either.■

⌠So tell him that, stupid! Make him listen!■

I sighed and closed my eyes a moment before opening them again and glaring at Sasuke poisonously, but smirking despite myself, ⌠I have no desire to fight you, Sasuke. And how long do you honestly think you▓d last fighting against someone like me?■ It was that damned accent again, the Irish accent I had picked up from my great uncle, all the summers that I had gone to visit him in Ireland. That stupid accent tended to turn up a lot when I was threatening someone, and for some reason it made me sound a bit more frightening than normal.

Either way, Sasuke responded by backing away a step, and that was when I blinked and smiled at him with warm innocence. ⌠┘Who are you?■ he asked, I knew his first urge was to say ⌠what are you?■ but I ignored it.

⌠Tsukioka Tsukasa is my name, and I already know you! Uchiha Sasuke!■ He watched me grinning at him for a long moment before I looked over my shoulder, just before a loud scream broke through the silence. It was Mamimi trying to hold Kaoru back, but being dragged toward the others despite her efforts. ⌠Mamimi! Shino▓s over here too!■ I called to her with a laugh and she instantly let go of Kaoru, who went flying forward and tackled Naruto to the ground, to Kurumi▓s unpleasant surprise. I smiled as Kurumi began pulling at Kaoru and yelling at her to get off of Naruto, Kaoru, though, stayed latched onto the boy. ⌠Hee hee┘come on, Uke-Chan, I wanna introduce you to my friends!■

I grabbed his hand in mine and pulled him along behind me as I made our way toward Mamimi, smiling the entire way. As I glanced over my shoulder at Sasuke, I saw that he was blushing only slightly and looking at me in confusion. I wish I could have heard Sasuke▓s thoughts in that moment, maybe it would explain why he never again asked to fight me.  
That next week was a party for the six of us, Momo met Konohamaru who took a particular interest in her and they spent the majority of their time together. I found it entertaining that she had found someone to hang around with that was her age, that way she could take her mind off of home and how far away from it we were.

Kaoru and Kurumi clung to Naruto like a pair of love-sick schoolgirls, and I don▓t think he minded having one girl on each arm and getting a peck on each cheek if he said or did something of any interest to either of them.

Haruko found Kiba and Akamaru and I would often see the trio hanging out together and joking around, I knew Haruko wasn▓t the type to cling, even if the guy was her boyfriend. I knew her to be cautious when it came to relationships, kind of like me except my cautiousness was to an extreme that she could never match.

Mamimi spent her time with Shino, even though sometimes she would run into Kakashi, although not in the way I had, and they would talk for a bit. But still Mamimi, like Haruko, kept her distance while still building a warm relationship with her Shino, who didn▓t seem to mind her presence either.

Me, on the other hand, spent my time in the shadows, I kept my eye on all of the girls to be sure they did nothing that their parents would disapprove of. I suppose that▓s the part of my personality that earned me the nickname, ⌠mother,■ but that▓s only an assumption. Either way, no matter how fast or how much I moved around, I somehow managed to bump into Sasuke one way or the other. Like, I had made it my daily thing to go to the Ichiraku bar for lunch and I often found Sasuke waiting for me when I was finished. We would talk briefly, only because he made me nervous so I would try to end the conversation as soon as he started it. The first time I saw him there I had tried to ignore him, though, assuming he was just there for no reason which was always my mindset, I could never tell myself that I was important enough to anyone for them to wait for me at all. Well, as I walked away he followed, his hands shoved into his pockets and his face slightly pink. Finally I heard him breath deeply and call out, ⌠Oi! Tsukasa-Kun!■

I had frozen, unable to move from the sound of my name, I finally turned to him and he stepped forward. ⌠Umm┘Tsukasa-Kun, I┘I was thinking┘could I┘I mean┘would you like┘■ he never finished his sentence, though, because I spoke up before he could.

⌠Uke-Kun, I have to go! I-I have to make sure my cousin has eaten. Sorry. I guess I▓ll talk to you later.■ I turned and was about to leave when he spoke again.

⌠I could show you around town later if you▓d like!■ he said loudly, I could hear the shakiness in his voice and the struggle in his words.

I turned to him and smiled softly, because by now the Prozac had almost completely worn off. Then I said softly, ⌠Of course, Uke-Chan, I would like that very much.■ And with that I took off, only to think of an excuse to get away from him for the next six days.

Now it was our eighth day in Konoha, Naruto dropped by where we were staying to pick up Kurumi and Kaoru and I took Momo to meet with Konohamaru. On my way back I saw Kiba and Haruko sharing their breakfasts with Akamaru, and I also noticed Mamimi sitting with Shino at the Ichiraku bar. My plan for the day had originally been to go back to bed until lunch, at least I could try to sleep instead of being bored for the next few hours, and all by myself. I was walking down the main street when I felt a hand on my shoulder and, just like Itachi, the person who had touched me ended up on his back in front of me.

Sasuke stared up at me with wide eyes and I gasped, almost falling to my knees I felt so shaky and nervous. Finally he blinked, smiled only slightly, and said, ⌠Ohayo┘Tsukasa-Kun┘■

I fell to my knees at this point, swallowing hard and blushing like a beet. Once I hit the ground Sasuke turned over and came to his hands and knees, looking me in the eye expectantly. ⌠Well, aren▓t you going to come up with some stupid excuse to avoid me again?■ I huffed and bit my bottom lip, leaning backward a bit to keep the distance between us, he simply watched me with a bored expression on his face. Eyelids lowered, eyebrows raised, face otherwise expressionless, and finally he spoke again, ⌠Listen, if you hate me you can just say so.■

That was when I leaned forward, ⌠No! I don▓t hate you, Uke-Chan! I really don▓t!■ I said desperately, in fact I wanted him to like me more than anything else. I guess I never thought I▓d ever see Gaara now that I was in Konoha, so it didn▓t matter to me and Sasuke was the next best thing. Well┘after Kiba┘and Naruto┘and Neji┘and Shino┘and Haku┘and Kakashi┘anyway!

He cocked one eyebrow at me and said, ⌠if you don▓t hate me then why--■

⌠I get nervous, okay!? I▓ve been tortured my entire life by the male species! There▓s always something about me that makes them leave! That or they forget about me over the weekend while I remember them for the rest of my fucking life! Sons of bitches! The lot of them!■ I saw him looking at me curiously and I paused, biting my bottom lip for a third time and blushing once more. I looked down at my hands in my lap and waited, suddenly he stood and I felt the tears burn my eyes. He was leaving me, just like everyone else had, everything always ended up like this.

Then I saw a hand reaching down to me, and I heard his voice, ⌠Come on, you know you▓re sitting in the middle of the street? I▓ll get you some ice-cream, it▓ll make you feel better. Or at least that▓s what Sakura tells me.■ He looked away from me, his features distorted and his nose wrinkled as he blushed just noticeably.

I blinked the tears back and stood, refusing to take his hand yet, my trust was not yet secure but he was on his way. He bought me a sundae and we shared it, neither of us smiled the entire time we were together, but we talked. I didn▓t completely open up to him, no, I simply told him that I had trust issues and that any guy who wanted me would have to work extremely hard to get me. Just to tell him, you know, and he seemed interested, he looked me in the eye the entire time I spoke. This was different for me, I had not expected any guy, especially Sasuke, to care about what I had to say.

But it was real, because I pinched myself afterward and it hurt, I now had someone to hang out with while the others spent their time with their boys. The funny thing is, he made me feel special without trying to, and I don▓t think he realized it either. His very presence, and the fact that he listened to me talk as though his life depended on my every word made me feel appreciated.

I thought that maybe my last option would be my best option, but I didn▓t think that we would be separated any time soon. We would hang out for at least another month, until the Yorukage called for his sons to return. I never expected what would come next. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 Separation, What Would Come Next

It was the ending of our second week in Konoha, that the letter was found under our door. I called everyone together at the ramen bar, they each brought their boy with them of course, and I read the letter aloud. ⌠To the six Kurai chunin in Konoha,■ it began, ⌠I apologize for any inconvenience my latest request may cause you, but it is quite important. I need three of you, along with three Konoha ninjas of your choosing, to travel to Sunagakure and deliver this second letter,■ I held up an envelope with the Yorukage▓s seal on it, ⌠to the Kazekage. The letter contains details about the negotiations between myself and Kazekage-San. I also request that you stay in Sunagakure to discuss these with him, as I obviously cannot. Many thanks, from the Yorukage.■

When I looked up from the letter everyone was staring at me. Both Kaoru and Kurumi clung to Naruto, as though they would rather die than be separated from him. Momo▓s and Konohamaru▓s hands were tightly clinging together as they both watched me with desperate innocence. Mamimi watched me apprehensively and glanced from me to Shino and back again, she looked extremely confused. Haruko clung to Akamaru as Kiba placed a possessive arm around her shoulders and glared at me.

⌠Listen,■ I said, finally getting fed up with all the looks I was getting, ⌠only three of us have to go, and three Konoha ninjas are coming too. So suck it up, because I▓ve already chosen them all.■ Everyone▓s eyes shot wide open and they all leaned forward in surprise.

⌠What do you mean you▓ve already chosen them all!?!■ Kaoru demanded, standing and glaring at me threateningly. ⌠Who made you the boss?!!■

I shot her a glare that would make even Gaara cower in fear, and as I spoke my accent came through my low tone of voice. ⌠I▓m not any happier about this situation than you are. So I would suggest you sit down and shut up because I▓m in a really bad mood.■ She hesitated, opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again, huffed, and sat back down. Then I blinked the glare away and smiled brightly, speaking as though nothing had happened, ⌠Okay, Kurumi and Kaoru, you are both coming with me. Which means, Naruto, you have to come or I▓ll have to listen to their whining all the way to Sunagakure and back. Everyone else can stop holding their breath because the other two Konoha ninjas aren▓t here right now.■

Everyone sighed with relief and began celebrating, none of them would have to be separated yet. What they were forgetting, though, was when we returned we would have to bring the Yorukage▓s sons back to Kuraigakure. I chose not to ruin the moment, let them be happy, it would be good for them. I hadn▓t seen cuts on Kaoru nor Haruko, normally Mamimi was much less at ease, and Momo was becoming more and more independent, I knew they were happy here and I wouldn▓t take that from them.

I turned to leave the celebrating group, and to find the other two that would accompany me and the others to Sunagakure. ⌠How entertaining, those girls really are weird.■ a voice I had been just waiting to hear came from the shadows and I turned to see him smirking at me, leaning against the tree whose shadow hid his face.

⌠Uke-Chan, just the person I wanted to see,■ I said softly, ⌠you really have to come to Sunagakure with us. You▓ll do it, right?■

⌠Well, I▓ve got nothing better to do┘so I guess so┘■ With that he came forward, planted a soft kiss on my cheek and disappeared. I placed my hand on my cheek and stared at the ground, that was a definite first and it had come at such an odd time, too.

After shaking off my initial shock I took off in a different direction than Sasuke, gone to find my final recruit. Because I hadn▓t been spending all of my time with Sasuke, and because he would be useful in more ways than one. The boy wouldn▓t be hard to convince either, a simple request on my part would be answered in full, he owed me one. And, oh, how surprised everyone would be when they saw him the next morning.  
We all met early in the morning to start heading to the land of wind, when we heard a new voice come from behind us. I smiled as I listened to him say cheerfully, ⌠Hey, Tsukasa! You weren▓t gonna leave me behind, were you?!■

Everyone stared with wide eyes as I turned toward him and, wearing a bright grin I said cheerfully, ⌠Lee-Chan! Of course not!■

When he stepped forward so that we could share a quick hug in greeting I heard someone shifting their weight uneasily. When Lee and I were finished with our greetings we stood side-by-side and, both putting on kitsune eyes and holding a thumb above their head, we announced, ⌠Everyone▓s here! Let▓s get a move on!■

As we left the village Kaoru, detaching herself from Naruto for a minute, came to walk beside me and whispered, ⌠Why in the fucking hell did you bring Lee?!■

I could simply grin to myself and say smugly, ⌠Because I can!■ With that I skipped forward to walk beside Lee, who was a good head and shoulders taller than myself by now, and we exchanged bright grins. I had never known what attracted me to Lee so persistently, but I always found him so cool despite every nerdy aspect of his being. And Hogo and Mamoru didn▓t seem to mind him, so I suppose he was alright to have along.

We had met at the Konoha Pub, he had had a bit too much to drink already so his speech had been slurred and movements were wavering. His cheeks were pink and I couldn▓t help but laugh when he fell over by accident, he was just too entertaining to pass by. Then came his tenth cup of sake, and a word from a nearby Genin who knew nothing of who they spoke to. Lee took the child too seriously and began to get violent, my response was to try and calm the drunk down wit reason. One can assume that failed miserably. I was thrown across the bar, I hit the wall behind the bar and fell to the floor, landing hard on my feet if only by luck. I glared at Lee then, and that was when I blacked out.

All I can recall is sitting upon a struggling Lee who, when his drunkenness wore off, looked around at the surrounding crowd. He looked up at me and asked if he had broken anything, because if he had he would pay for it somehow. I shook my head and the people around described how I had stopped him, I paid no attention but Lee stared at me afterward. For some reason he had thanked me and said, ⌠Tsukasa, was it? I owe you for this┘■ After that we had spent every evening together at the bar, just hanging out and talking, just me and Lee.

As Hogo rode upon my shoulder, like a trusted parrot for a pirate or something, Lee placed a hand atop my head and leaned down to whisper in my ear as we walked. Hogo placed his tiny ear against mine opposite the one Lee spoke into, in an attempt to hear what he was saying. ⌠Tsuka-Chan, you have noticed the way Sasuke▓s been acting, haven▓t you?■

I shook my head, ⌠no, why?■ I glanced over my shoulder and Hogo lost his balance temporarily. I saw Sasuke watching me and Lee with a glare, when we made eye contact his cheeks were died pink and he looked away. I looked back to the path we followed and leaned my head on Lee▓s shoulder, I knew it might have made Sasuke even worse but I had never really wanted his attention in the first place. I had only brought him along because no one else would have come, not even Neji, I had asked the previous morning.

⌠Is there something going on between you and Sasuke?■ Lee asked softly, I instantly lifted my head from his shoulder and glared at him, Hogo imitating me perfectly.

⌠Dear kami, No!!■ I said a bit too loudly, everyone looked at me and Sasuke looked curious. I saw Kaoru whisper something in Sasuke▓s ear and he looked surprised at first, then he sped up his pace and came to walk with me and Lee. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me away from Lee, and placing a protective arm around my shoulders, to Hogo▓s displeasure.

The poor raccoon jumped from my shoulder to Lee▓s and Mamoru jumped from Kurumi▓s arms, running up to walk alongside me. ⌠What did Lee say to you?■ Sasuke partially hissed in my ear.

⌠Nothing important,■ I lied, ⌠why?■

⌠Kaoru said something┘■ he said, then looked away blushing noticeably and scratching his nose nervously, ⌠she said the only time she hears you use that line┘is when someone suggest something┘well┘■

⌠Lee said nothing bad, don▓t worry about it, Uke-Chan!■ I grinned and stopped, ducking under Sasuke▓s arm and picking up Mamoru. I cuddled the fox close to my breast and he found a comfortable spot, he closed his eyes and went back to resting. When I looked at Sasuke he was watching me with the same eyes that I had seen on his brother, those soft eyes that make my stomach churn. I disappeared then, I figured it would be safer to follow them without being noticed, then I couldn▓t cause any problems.

Mamoru rode upon my head as we followed the others from the shadows, being sure we weren▓t seen as we watched them from a distance. As we followed we noticed the sun▓s position, it would be dark soon, we had already passed the golden Buddha where I had stopped to offer a moment of prayer for my friends. The land of the wind was still a long way off, it would be three more days at least before we reached Sunagakure, I only hoped the others would last that long.

Three days of nothing but each other and the road ahead of us would certainly drive them crazy, it was a good thing I chose to bring Lee. Hopefully my Sake supply wouldn▓t run out in one night, but between me and Lee it probably did. Not that I really remember it all, heh┘sweat drop I guess I drank too much on the way┘cause the only thing I remember after that is having major headaches every morning. I am so glad no one had any cameras. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 Sunagakure and the Kazekage

Day three was tiring, my headache was the worst it had been so far, every step made my head throb. ⌠Heh┘I▓m such a lightweight┘huh, Lee?■ I said, my head in my hands.

He laughed at me and lifted me bridal style, ⌠Don▓t worry about it, girls can never drink as much as guys.■ I would have glared at him, but I knew he was right┘that, and my head was hurting too much.

⌠Kaoru┘■ I whined, ⌠did you eat all the poky?■ she handed me the bag and I started to consume every last bite of its contents. It hadn▓t taken me long to figure out that poky was my hangover food.

⌠Oh! Can you share?■ Lee asked with a smile. I hesitated and then I felt him preparing to drop me, the ass-hole! I stuck my tongue out at him and he let me go, I fell onto my backside hitting the ground really hard.

⌠Ouch! That fucking hurt!! You▒re mean, Lee!■ I yelled, he only smiled at me, he was kidding around but that didn▓t stop my butt from hurting. I began climbing to my feet and I felt something pick me up, suddenly I found my self sitting on someone▓s back. I rested my chin on his shoulder and glanced to the side to see Sasuke▓s profile, cold and stern as always. ⌠Uke-Chan┘what--■

⌠II just don▓t feel like listening to you complain, just eat your poky. I▓ll put you down when we stop.■ I was in no condition to argue and besides, what kind of retard would pass up a free ride? So I rode silently upon the back of my trusted stallion.

Another hour passed before I began glancing over my shoulder apprehensively. I kept feeling like someone was behind us, following in the shadows and watching us silently. That was when Kurumi froze, looked over her shoulder, grinned, and disappeared. We were so close to the bridge, why would they choose now of all times to show up?

It wasn▓t long before we heard Kurumi yelling, ⌠Come on! You know you wanna come! It▓ll be fun!! Come!! On!!■ Next thing we saw her trudging toward us with something large in tow. Sasuke froze and I laughed long and hard, for the large object she now dragged along behind her, was Itachi. Sitting on his rear end, his arms and legs crossed and a stubborn look on his face.

I waved to Itachi from Sasuke▓s back, smiling brightly, and I sang out, ⌠Oh, Ita-Chan! Guess who else we▓re dragging along!■ He looked at me for a moment and I instantly felt a pang of cold fill me from the inside out. ▒Bloodlust┘▓ The two brothers were glaring at each other with frigid malice, and I was right in the line of fire. ⌠Sasuke┘■ I hissed in the boy▓s ear, ⌠If you start a fight in my presence, I swear I▓ll never speak to you again┘but only after shovin me foot halfway up yer ars!■

Sasuke hesitated, huffed, and continued walking, ignoring his brother for the rest of the trip. Not that it would have mattered, the other boy was too preoccupied by Kurumi▓s clinging, cuddling, and of course her groping. As Hogo and Mamoru investigated the boy with their noses, Hogo decided to be brave and climb onto his shoulder, then to pull his hair. Itachi glared at the raccoon with his sharingan, and I almost instantly found the shivering creature sitting upon my shoulder and clinging to me tightly.

⌠Oh, poor Hogo, did that mean old Ita-chan scare you?■ I said in a baby voice, smiling softly at the animal. Sasuke sounded like he was laughing, but whether it was at me or Hogo I don▓t know┘I never got the chance to ask.

⌠Oh, my god!! Look at that!■ Kaoru and Naruto exclaimed at once, causing all eyes to travel up to the climbing buildings. Towering over the tall stone wall, which hid it from the raging sands of the surrounding desert, the hidden city of sand looked foreboding.

⌠Sasuke, you can put me down now■ I said softly and he let me slide off of his back, though reluctantly. Then we all stepped up to the doors, which opened automatically, and I lead the way into Sunagakure. We stopped when we reached an official looking building, and before I even touched the front door I rounded on Kurumi. ⌠Ku-chan,■ I said and pointed to Itachi, ⌠You have to tie him up, he can▓t come in.■

⌠What?! Why?!■ Kurumi asked desperately.

⌠No pets allowed.■ I growled, she tried to glare at me as she borrowed a collar and a chain from Kaoru, chaining him to a nearby poll with a groan. I patted him on the head and knelt down to his level, ⌠Okay, Ita-chan, here▓s the deal; as soon as we know what▓s going on, we▓ll come for you. Until then, though, Hogo and Mamoru will be keeping an eye on you.■ I glared at him with cold bloodlust in my eyes, ⌠and if you touch either of them I will kill you without hesitation.■ Then I smiled and left Hogo and Mamoru to watch over Itachi until we got back. As I knocked on the door I could see Sasuke out of the corner of my eye, he seemed to be trying not to laugh at his now bound and chained older brother.

My knocking was answered by the movement of an overhead security camera. This I responded to by putting on my kitsune eyes and giving the camera a peace sign, while sticking out my tongue. ⌠What business have you with the Kazekage-sama?■ a female voice asked over an intercom.

Kaoru and Kurumi instantly leaned into the intercom and chanted, ⌠Kurai-nin! We▓re Kurai-nin! We▓ve come to negotiate, so let us in!■ My question is, how in the fucking hell did they come up with that so quickly? And why?

Either way, there was a pause and then the voice returned, ⌠Please, come in. Kazekage-sama▓s office is on the third floor, the third door on the left.■ The doors opened and we stepped into the building, I found stairs while the others looked around for an elevator.

⌠By the time you find it I▓ll already be in the Kazekage▓s office┘■ I said, looking slightly put-out, and they ignored me completely. ⌠Alright, I▓ll see you all later┘■ I said and waved them off like troublesome flies. Then I climbed the stairs, thinking to myself, ▒what pathetically lazy shinobi, maybe I should just do this entire negotiation thing on my own┘then I wouldn▓t have to tell anyone to shut up┘or apologize for anyone else▓s mistakes┘▓ I shrugged my thoughts away as I stood before the Kazekage▓s door, preparing to knock.

I knocked three times and the door opened instantly, I poked my head into the room and looked around curiously. It was nothing special, more like a darker version of the Hokage▓s place, it didn▓t seem very threatening. Or at least, not until I saw who was sitting behind the desk, dressed in black instead of the traditional blue. ⌠Why are you just standing in the doorway? Come in.■ The man said in a somewhat annoyed tone, just as I▓d expected.

I flinched slightly in the realization of what I was doing, and then I stepped quickly into the room, bowing low to the Kazekage. I wanted to say something, I knew I should, I even opened my mouth a few times, but it was like someone was strangling me. ▒Maybe I should have dragged one of the others along, they could at least talk for me┘cause I don▓t think I▓ll be able to┘▓ I thought like - -U

⌠Well,■ the Kazekage said, sounding slightly bored with me, ⌠what does the Yorukage want from me now?■ I stayed bowed, I was afraid to stand straight for fear of seeing his eyes, because I knew if I did I would say something wrong. So, in my present state I stayed, silent and frozen, until Kazekage spoke again. ⌠Girl, I asked you a question, now answer. Why are you here?■

At this point I sucked in a deep breath, shut my eyes tight, and I said loudly, without meaning to, ⌠Kazekage-sama, I am Kuraigakure▓s top kurai-nin! My name is Tsukioka Tsukasa, and my friends and I were sent to discuss the negotiations expressed in this letter from the Yorukage-sama!■ I held out the letter that the Yorukage had said to give to the Kazekage and I fell silent.

⌠Stand up straight, you pathetic try of a shinobi.■ I froze and raised my head for the first time at these words, I had heard them before but they didn▓t hurt, it was more the fact that he had actually said it to me that got my attention. Our eyes met for the first time, and I had been right, they were just like I remember. I couldn▓t stand to look into them, they made me feel so cold, like I should just run away for fear of my life. But I did not run, I stood my ground, although I did look away from him to which he responded angrily, ⌠Do you think you are too good a shinobi to look me in the eye? Or are you just scared?■

I was silent, I would take any abuse, but I refused to look him in the eye, for fear that he may see me. It was before him that I felt vulnerable, I felt honest, naked, alone, like if I looked him in the eye he would know everything. And I couldn▓t let that happen.

⌠Give me the letter,■ Kazekage commanded sternly, I came forward and he stretched out his hand to take it from me. I placed the letter in his hand, which brushed mine only slightly but it was enough, I stepped back, watching my feet and clutching my hand. I had felt his touch, it was nothing important, but it proved that he was real and that to me could be a dream or a nightmare come true. ⌠What are you doing?■ He asked after a few minutes of silence, I looked at a place where the wall and floor met and shrugged, ⌠Well?■

⌠Well┘I┘■ I tried to speak but it came out like a whisper, I couldn▓t stand that I couldn▓t speak to him. It was driving me insane that I couldn▓t say anything, why? Why was this happening to me? Why, when I had been waiting so long to speak to him, did nothing come out? Why was I the one who could be so completely bitchy, but at the same time so pathetic? Why?

⌠That▓s what I▓d like to know┘■

▒Sunshine?▓

⌠You know it, so what▓s up?■

▒I can▓t speak, Sunshine, I can▓t say a word! But I want to say something!▓

⌠Oh, really? Something? Anything?■

▒Yes! I just want to speak!▓

⌠But you can▓t because you don▓t know how┘how do you do this?■

▒Do what?▓

⌠One second you▓re a bitch who doesn▓t give a damn, and the next you▓re a self-conscious nerd.■

▒that▓s not nice, sunshine┘▓

⌠but it▓s true!■

▒You know, somehow I don▓t think you▓re helping┘▓

⌠Fine┘how about, the next time he says something you say exactly what▓s on your mind. Pretend he▓s Ramo┘Kaoru, if that▓s what you call her now┘■

The next thing I heard was someone clearing their throat, I looked up to see the Kazekage glaring at me. ⌠These negotiations are bullshit. Take them back to the Yorukage, because I won▓t keep them.■ I was about to obey for a split second before I froze, then I dropped my hand to my side and looked at my feet for a moment. ⌠Well, did you hear me, are you deaf as well as mute, you pathetic shinobi whore?■

I don▓t know what it was, but something inside me snapped at his words, and my eyes burned red as I glared at him with cold anger. ⌠Oh, so I▓m a pathetic shinobi whore, huh?■ I growled dangerously, ⌠Well, guess what, buddy, this whore ain▓t movin. I will stay in Suna for a year if I have to, but I▓ve got a job to do and I won▓t leave until it▓s done.■

⌠And what might that job be?■ Kazekage asked, sounding bored.

I slammed one hand down on his desk and threw a kunai with the other, the kunai gently grazed his ear and he was calm at first. Then the kunai hit the wall behind him and the cut finally appeared, his cheek began bleeding slightly and his eyes widened. ⌠Don▓t think that just because you▓re a kage I can▓t or won▓t kill you. I was sent to negotiate a treaty, not put up with your high strung attitude and below the belt comments. So here▓s how it▓s gonna go, we▓ll meet here every day, we▓ll look over these suggestions, and we▓ll fix whatever you don▓t like. But I▓m not going home until we do.■ I walked to the door and just before walking out I looked back at him and smiled brightly, I cocked my head to the side and said sweetly, ⌠See you tomorrow, bye!■ With that I left him staring after me.

His teal eyes glazed with surprise, the black outline of his eyes widened, his red hair probably standing on end on the back of his neck, and the scar on his forehead still there. Just like when he was young, blood got his attention, and I would keep it. The Kazekage, my precious person, Gaara no Suna. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7Butterfly

It wasn▓t long before we found ourselves a place to stay in the village, a small motel, we got three rooms. We made Naruto and Sasuke share a room and I forced Kurumi to make Itachi share a room with Lee, while she stayed in the third room with me and Kaoru. I had originally planned to put three people in each room and only pay for two, but now that Itachi had joined us I had to keep him and Uke-chan away from each other. I had no time to knock sense into the bishi-brothers. Instead I slept that night with Kurumi on one side and Kaoru on the other.

The next morning I woke with the sun as was an unfortunate habit of mine. School had turned my nocturnal habits on their head, one reason why I hated the day classes. So, anyway, I dressed myself quietly and left a note on the inside of the door. ⌠I went to meet the Kazegake. Don▓t wait up for me. I expect everyone to meet back here at sundown. Love you, Tsukasa.■

Now I was on my way to my meeting with the Kazekage, I had nothing better to do at the time, so I might as well. So, I▓m only a block away from the building when I spot a tall guy with spiky brown hair. I didn▓t know who he was at the time, but I approached him anyway, if only because he seemed kind of familiar. When I saw that he was locking up his house and strapping a huge doll onto his back I almost laughed, I knew who it was. I tapped him on the shoulder, smiling the entire time, and I said, ⌠Are you Kankuro? The Kazekage▒s older brother?■

He looked at me in confusion for a second and then he smiled, realizing that it was a good thing I knew his name. ⌠Yeah, I am. And who are you?■ He asked.

⌠Name▓s Tsukasa, I▓m the Kurai-nin who was sent to take care of negotiations with your brother.■ He smiled and laughed, as though it were an unfortunate circumstance, of course I did not see it this way. He asked me when I had to be there, I told him I could be there any time before noon, though not a moment after. He nodded and offered to buy me some breakfast, in case I hadn▓t eaten. I almost turned him down, knowing I would feel guilty after allowing him to pay for my food. He made it seem, though, like I was doing him a favor by at least giving him some company, so I agreed eventually.

We talked for most of the morning over chocolate milk and eggs, speaking mostly of random things. Our lives in general, jokes about how our social and romantic lives were (they both sucked), and our few friends. Our ⌠beloved■ siblings, both of our annoying younger brothers, unwilling to trade but unwilling to keep them we planned an elaborate scheme. We would get them both together somehow and, while my brother distracted his brother, we would sneak in from behind and cover them both with cloth bags. We would then tie them up and throw them into a river as soon as possible. We both liked the plan, though it was only a joke, it sounded good to me.

Finally we finished our meal, only an hour to spare before noon. ⌠Shit, I should get going. I▓m not in a bad mood anymore, so I wont be able to yell at him if he gets mad at me.■ I laughed at myself, how weak I could be when faced with a pair of pretty eyes.

⌠Come with me,■ Kankuro said after he paid the bill, grabbing my hand and leading me out the door at a run. ⌠I know I short cut from here.■ He lead me behind the restaurant and through a long alleyway, a twenty minute walk turned into a ten minute one. We were laughing whole-heartedly when we got there, panting slightly and almost falling to our knees from lack of breath. ⌠See, I told you I▓d get you here in time.■

⌠Yeah, after outrunning three huge dogs and jumping a six-foot fence!■ I joked, pushing him playfully. He pushed me back and stood, looking at me with a great, beaming smile.

⌠The dogs weren▓t that big, were they?■ he asked, I simply looked at him with an exaggerated look of ⌠you▓re joking, right?■ on my face. He laughed at this and nodded, ⌠Yeah, they were, weren▓t they? Heh, next time I▓ll have to figure out a way to get around them without getting bitten.■ He turned around to expose the spot on his rear end that one dog had gotten to, and bitten a hole in his pants. We both laughed so hard we fell to the ground, barely able to breath, and I leaned back on my hands for support.

⌠Hey, Kankuro┘■ I breathed, finally, ⌠What if I┘patched up that hole for you? I can sew pretty good┘and it wouldn▓t be too hard to fix, it▓s just a hole.■ He looked at me a moment more, still panting. Finally he breathed in deep and nodded, swallowing hard from lack of moisture in his mouth. ⌠Cool, I▓ll meet you at your place, just give me the time.■

He stood and helped me to my feet, ⌠Well, I▓ve got training, I▓m actually really late.■ he confessed, still laughing slightly and rubbing the back of his neck nervously. ⌠How about six, is that good?■ He asked, offering me a hand in agreement and I took it, smiling the whole while like a drunken fool. Kankuro was truly a wonderfully cool person, quite enjoyable.

I finally made my way up to meet Gaara, quite aware that he would without doubt be upset by my timing, so near to noon. Though I cared not, I would take any of his shit at the moment, if only to be around one not-so-enjoyable person for a while. I needed to be around someone annoying for a small amount of time if I wanted to remain sane, strange, I know, but true. So I open the door to his office, not even waiting for permission, prepared to take as much abuse as humanly possible, but it doesn▓t come. I step into the room, waiting to hear him yell at me from where he sat at his desk, watching me with those frightening eyes. I watched him warily as I edged my way toward him, slowly coming as close as possible without being stricken down by a wall of sand. ⌠Um┘hi, sorry if I made you wait, but Kankuro offered me breakfast.■

⌠Why?■ he asked suddenly, sounding upset and curious at the same time. I froze, his tone paralyzing me for an instant, catching me off guard. I looked around for a moment, not knowing what to do while still edging my way to his desk.

⌠Well┘I don▓t know┘⌠ I said probably sounding very confused, ⌠he just asked if I wanted to--■

⌠Why do you smile like that?■ he interrupted, only confusing me even more. I cocked an eyebrow at him and shook my head, indicating I knew not what he asked of me. He looked out the window, obviously avoiding eye contact. ⌠When you are with him you smile like you▓re happy, right?■ he glanced at me and I nodded slowly, still sufficiently confused, he looked back out the window. ⌠Yesterday your smile┘it wasn▓t happy, but┘■

⌠It wasn▓t a fake smile, if that▓s what you▓re asking.■ I said, sitting finally and loosing my edge, feeling much more laid back. My stomach no longer doing flips, my heart no longer skipping beats. ⌠I like smiling at you, Gaara, I just cant do it right. I▓m no good at smiling to lonely people.■ I looked at him for a moment, and in that moment our eyes locked, each searching the other for something. What it was, neither knew, though we knew we would know it when it was found. ⌠I don▓t have to look very deep to see loneliness in your eyes, hon. You may not understand, but I know more about you than anyone else in the world, and I have grown fond of you.■ I smiled at him, that same, sad smile I accidentally gave him yesterday.

⌠What are you talking about?■ he asked, looking at me in disbelief, doubting that anyone could be fond of him. Gaara No Suna was loved by no one, and he had no precious people.

⌠I don▓t know how you▓ll react to what I want to say, so I wont say it. I want to know how you react to me, first.■ I stood and walked to his side at the window, shorter than him by quite a bit, but I was used to a large height difference between myself and others. I threaded my fingers into his, grasping his hand in mine lovingly, ⌠Now, come on, Grumpy Bear. I have a job to do, I may not like it, but it▓s my job. I cant leave until it▓s done, remember.■ He looked at our hands laced together, at first he bore a look of horror at the thought of being touched by someone so fondly, but he calmed quickly when I loosened my grip. I knew he would not be very open to me at first, but progress would be quick if I was lucky. As long as days kept going like this, and as long as I stayed honest, he would love me like I love him.  
⌠Hello, hello! How ya doin, Kan-chan?!■ I said brightly as I greeted Kankuro with a bear hug, him returning it instantly. We had become close so quickly it was frightening, though I appreciated it. We talked leisurely as I proceeded to fix his pants, repairing the hole from earlier. We laughed almost as much as we had that morning, making jokes about the day▓s events.

Tsuka-chin and Kan-chan, spending the afternoon together soon became our plan. Every afternoon, we planned it had to be this way. Every morning at breakfast and then to our days, and afterward we should meet back at his house for an evening of jokes and stories of our days. Advice exchange and comfort center, the house of tough love, we were. Suck it up, I love you. That▓s our philosophy. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8The House of Tough Love

⌠Kan-chan? Yo, wussup?■ I said as I entered the house with a huge grin, not even knocking anymore. We had been doing this for over a week and I was used to the routine by now, though I had something important to tell Kankuro. I knew it wouldn▓t be too much longer until Gaara and I were finished with the negotiations, part of me was looking forward to the end of the formal relationship but, at the same time part of me wanted to keep it going forever. Any excuse to be around the boy every day, any excuse to talk to him, any excuse and right now it was my only excuse. ⌠Kan-chan? You look like shit, what happened?■

He sat on the couch, looking like he just got blown off for something really important. He seemed really out of it, especially when he grumbled something incoherent, something sounding like, ⌠Get out, I▓m not in the mood today.■

I groaned and sat on his lap roughly, ⌠Kankuro, what happened?■ I said with an annoyed sigh. He shook his head and I slapped him right across the face, ⌠Don▓t give me that shit. You tell me what▓s wrong or I▓m gonna do something you▓re gonna regret.■ I reared up onto my knees and one of them met his groin, putting just enough pressure on it to warn him of the impending danger. He grunted in pain, feeling the pressure on his crotch.

⌠Fine! Jesus, get off of me!■ He pushed me onto the couch beside him and I sat there patiently, awaiting an answer to my question. ⌠There▓s this girl┘and I had been planning to ask her out for a while, you know?■ I nodded as though I cared, ⌠Well, I asked her out today┘■

⌠And you got rejected?■ I asked, trying to elaborate on what he was saying.

⌠Not just rejected, I crashed and burned! She came up with names for me that I didn▓t even know existed!■ Kankuro said, his eyes wide with remembered shock of the event. I tried so hard, I did my very best, but I just couldn▓t stop myself.

⌠pfft, AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! You have got to be kidding me! That▓s what you▓re so upset about?!■ I fell onto the floor, laughing so hard I could feel my face turning red and I could no longer breath. ⌠Dude! Y-heh he he┘he-you▓re pathetic┘■ I finally said, wiping the tears from my eyes and looking up at his frown with a shameless grin.

⌠It▓s not funny,■ he said, pouting like a child, ⌠How would you feel if I laughed at you in this situation?■

⌠One: yes, it is funny.■ I said with a smile, sitting back on the couch, ⌠and Two: I wouldn▓t be acting like you in this situation. If ever I do get rejected by some bitchy guy, I▓ll suck it up and as long as no one brings it up for a while, I▓ll be fine. Nothing to mope about. Get over it. You pussy.■ !  
I returned to the motel, still laughing at Kankuro▓s failed attempt at getting a girlfriend, and as soon as I stepped through the door I froze. I then backed out of the room, shut the door, and proceeded to knock. ⌠Kurumi┘could you please not do that in my bed? And┘um┘tell Ita-chan to put on some cloths┘■ I heard some rustling inside the room and then the door opened to reveal a breathless Kurumi brushing back her hair and grinning. I looked put-out and I glared at her, ⌠Kurumi┘y-y-y┘I-I-I┘y-you know what! Stop!■ I shoved her to one side and grabbed the half-dressed Itachi by his long hair, dragging him out of the room and tossing him out onto the balcony. ⌠Stay out of my room!■

⌠Give me a break, bitch! I was feeling feminine!■ He said as he wiped his bottom lip.

⌠What a surprise!■ I growled, feeling the mother part of me taking over for the moment.

⌠Tsuka-chin! Ita-chan needed to feel manly! A guy hit on him today!■ Kurumi whined, pulling on my sleeve and attempting to glare at me.

⌠Yeah, some faggot sand-nin with brown hair and a giant doll!■ Itachi said gruffly, crossing his arms over his built chest.

⌠Doll? Oh, my god! Kankuro!■ I realized suddenly, ⌠Kankuro thought you were a girl! Oh, my god! Hahahahaaa! That▓s awesome! Kankuro had a crush on a man!■ I could not believe this, I had to go back and laugh at Kankuro some more, I couldn▓t wait to see the look on his face when he found out that this girl he liked was a man. ⌠Well, I-I▓ll leave you now┘please use protection, now, as you were.■ I then left the pair, staring after me in confusion and astonishment as I laughed all the way down the stairs.I slammed the front door open and yelled, ⌠You faggot!■ Kankuro froze and looked over his shoulder at me as I grinned at him from the doorway. He was eating out of a pint of chocolate ice cream, which made him look kind of like me when I▓m PMS-ing. ⌠Dude, you look like a teenage girl after a her boyfriend dumps her.■

⌠Well, I don▓t see you helping me out! No support! No constructive criticism! You just laugh!■ he said angrily, though I cared not in the least.

⌠Oh, yeah, about that┘■ I said softly, walking up behind him and leaning on his shoulders from behind, resting my head beside his. ⌠You know that girl you asked out today?■

⌠Yeah┘■ he looked at me, seeming a bit frightened.

⌠His name is Uchiha Itachi and he▓s already with my best friend.■ I grinned, ⌠Sorry to disappoint you, but I don▓t think he▓s interested in having a boyfriend at the moment.■ I smiled broadly, most of my teeth showing, I do think I looked a lot like the Cheshire cat. As for Kankuro, he could only stare at me blankly as I grinned only inches from his face, ⌠hee hee hee, don▓t you think the gender of the person you like would be an important detail to know?■ I asked, half joking.

⌠OH GOD!!! I HIT ON A MAN!!??!?!?!■ Kankuro screamed finally, freaking out and jumping up. ⌠OH, I FEEL SO┘SO┘SO GAY!! HELP ME, TSUKASA!! AAAHH!■ he looked as though he would have cried if I didn▓t do something, he was looking more and more like a teenage girl at this point, so I figured he might appreciate a female gesture on my part. I sighed, after thinking for an extended period of time, in which Kankuro was running around in circles as he screamed his head off.

I grabbed his arm as he passed me and I threw him onto the couch, sitting beside him I leaned forward and glared at him out of the corner of my eye. ⌠Alright, I▓m gonna do something now, Kan-chan, and I want to hear nothing about it ever again. I am doing this simply to calm you down, do you understand?■ he nodded, looking as though he might begin sobbing. I then scooted closer to him and guided his head to lay softly upon my breasts, he calmed suddenly and seemed to enjoy the feeling of his ear against my chest. I rolled my eyes and patted his head, if he started getting too clingy I would have to push him onto the floor and crush his balls in, regular procedure, nothing special.

After only a moment or two, though, there was a knock on the front door. Kankuro obviously didn▓t hear it, because he didn▓t move. Then the doorknob began to turn and I began pushing him off of me, or trying to at least. Unfortunately for me, when Kankuro is set on keeping something in his grasp he will not let go. As the door began to open I hastily hissed in his ear, ⌠If you don▓t let I▓ll scream ▒rape▓ and give whoever▓s at the door incentive to kill you!■

He simply looked up a moment and mumbled, ⌠Oh, it▓s probably just Gaara. No big deal, he wont care, even if you do scream.■ I knew he was only joking, but it annoyed me quite a bit.

-- ⌠I┘hate┘you┘.■ I said slowly and then began struggling again just as the Kazekage▓s eyes fell upon me, struggling against Kankuro. My face was burning red, of all the people in the world he was the last I wanted to see me in this position (or at least w/ someone else). He watched, he looked apathetic, but I decided to at least try, ⌠Hey, Gaara-Kun! Would you help me out, huh? Come on, he wont let me go, could you just lend me a hand? Please? Gaara, buddy, pal, friend, huh?■ I grinned pleadingly, not really expecting him to do anything other than walk away in silence. So, you can imagine my surprise when he spoke, sounding a bit annoyed, maybe?

⌠Kankuro,■ he said, looking away from us for some reason, ⌠Release the girl. You are embarrassing me again.■ Kankuro paused and we exchanged looks of utter confusion before he let me go and I bounced over to Gaara, grinning, but still confused.

⌠Hey, Gaara-kun, thanks!■ I said grabbing his wrist before he could walk away, ⌠You don▓t think I▓m gonna let you go that easily, do you?■ I asked with a cocked eyebrow when he turned to me with his usual empty stare, I was more than used to it by now. ⌠Come on! We don▓t have to be professional right now, negotiations are over for the day. Pleeeaaase!!■ I clasped my hands together in a begging motion and gave him my most pathetic pout (which I doubt would be very effective). He knew what I was talking about, though he had not yet fully grasped it.

Finally, to my absolute pleasure, he turned away from me and lifted and arm to allow me access to his middle, which I wrapped my arms around affectionately. He was silent as I squealed only slightly, normally I would have disgusted myself but I would kick myself later for the fan girl slip. ⌠Tsukioka-dono, please remove yourself from my middle.■ I paused, pouted, and hesitantly released him.

⌠Damn┘■ I muttered, so only I could hear it. I sighed as I watched him walk up the stairs to his room and then I was caught off guard when I heard Kankuro behind me, chanting.

⌠You like Gaara! You like Gaara! Wait┘■ he paused to think that line over and gave me a look of disgust, ⌠You like GAARA?!?! What the fu--■ I did not permit him to finish, I had covered his mouth and I was threatening him with just my glare. I waited a moment before releasing him and sitting beside him on the couch, sighing sadly.

⌠Yes┘I like Gaara┘■ I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, ⌠Kami, I love Gaara! He is everything to me, I know everything about him and I▓m not afraid of him┘I mean, I threatened him on my first day here.■ I sighed and laid my head on the back of the couch, ⌠Damn┘■

⌠Hold on,■ Kankuro said, ⌠How can you love him? He▓s a demon!■

⌠Don▓t you think I already know that?■ I said, sounding annoyed, my voice hushed as I heard footsteps upstairs that Kankuro was obviously oblivious to. ⌠But┘I guess that▓s part of why I care about him so much. It▓s not out of pity, really┘more out of loneliness┘and knowing that he would understand how I feel┘■ I looked at Kankuro momentarily, of course he was looking at me like I was insane, but I wasn▓t phased. ⌠You wouldn▓t understand, you▓ve always had someone who cared for you, if not friends then your sister┘I▓ve been hated my entire life┘even by those I thought to be my friends┘■ ▒and so has Gaara┘▓ I thought, looking up the stairs to find blue-green eyes looking down at me. Stunned, I blinked, and they were gone.

⌠Why don▓t you talk to him?■ Kankuro suggested, ⌠Like, outside your meetings, I mean. If you care about him so much you should let him know.■

I sighed, of course he wouldn▓t get it, ⌠I cant do that┘■ I said softly.

⌠Why not?■

⌠I just cant■

⌠Don▓t you care about him?■

⌠Of course I do, I love him■

⌠then talk to him■

⌠I cant!■

⌠Why not?■

⌠I don▓t know how he▓d react to me┘■

⌠If anything he▓ll probably kill you.■

⌠hmm┘well, that▓s not too bad┘■

⌠What?!■

⌠I▓ve been waiting for death for a long time, Kan-chin, I don▓t care what happens to me at this point.■

⌠Then why wont you talk to him?!■

⌠Because! ┘I don▓t want to hurt him┘like I did the others┘■ I looked away from Kankuro, holding the tears back with all my might. ⌠My friends┘I▓ve hurt them all, by simply being around them┘I don▓t want to bring any pain to Gaara with my presence┘■ I sighed as a single tear trailed down my cheek and I looked up to see those blue-green eyes again, floating at the top of the stairs. ⌠I love him too much┘I could never willingly bring pain upon my Sabaku no Gaara.■ I wiped my eyes and hurriedly told Kankuro I had to leave, standing and hugging him goodbye I made my way out the door. Too caught up in hiding my tears to notice the dark figure following me back to the Motel. 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 Enchanting Songs

As I came back to the motel I decided not to go back to my room, it was dark already and the others may be playing some sort of perverted game in my room again. So, I decided it best to stay away until all the lights dimmed, not wanting to be faced with their pity in my current state. Instead I sat upon the rooftop, watching the full moon and searching the sky for Orion, my favorite constellation, I knew not what it meant, all I knew was that it held special meaning for me. And I found it swiftly, my lovely Orion, always comforting no matter what. I sighed, needing to be held, not caring by who at this point, simply needing the warmth of another body to shield me from my own coldness. My emptiness was frightening, I had lost count of how many times I had felt this empty since I had come to this world, losing that medication which had given me artificial comfort, I felt the need to sleep. Simply lose myself to dreams of my world where I could be with my love and worry about nothing, where I could be together with him for all of eternity.

As I imagined him holding me lovingly I could almost feel his powerful arms engulf me, his warm body against my back, his soothing breath on the back of my neck. I almost heard his voice say my name, and then I opened my eyes and realized┘ ⌠Lee! What the hell are you doing out here?! And why in the fucking hell are you touching me?!■ I yelled, shoving him off the roof of the high building. He fell onto the ground with a heavy thud, but made his way back up to me with a quick and easy jump, and I silently cursed him for not staying facedown in the dirt. ⌠What do you want?■ I asked gruffly, holding my knees to my chest and laying my chin atop them softly.

⌠I saw you climb past the window, you were crying so I thought I▓d see if you were alright.■ he said kindly, he really was a warm and honest soul, though if anyone had seen him leave I knew I would next be hearing Naruto▓s voice. Not a bothersome thing at all, really, just I had no desire to listen to anyone right now.

⌠Did you?■ I asked softly, sort of sarcastically, I did adore Lee, but I would have rather been alone at the moment. Left to cry in peace. For now though, I would have to hold back my tears, giving myself a headache.

⌠I▓m sorry, Tsukasa-chan, I should have let you alone┘but I cannot very well leave now that I am involved. Forgive me?■ Lee asked kindly, offering me a hand of support and apology. I took it and in that instant he pulled me close to him, patting my hair softly as I proceeded to pour all of my tears out right onto his shirt.

I suppose I had been crying for a good 15-20 minutes before I finally calmed down, I knew I could cry in front of Lee because he would keep it a secret. He would also let me simply cry, he would not attempt to fix me or help me, I was allowed to cry into his chest, a comfort I had never felt before. A shoulder to cry on, I guess┘

Now that my eyes were mostly dry and I was no longer leaning upon his chest, Lee decided that it was safe for him to speak. ⌠Should I leave? Or would you rather I stayed a bit longer?■ I sniffed, wiped my eyes on last time, and nodded.

⌠You go ahead┘and go ahead and tell Sasuke he can stop hiding in the shadows.■ I smirked, as did Lee, and he departed from me as Sasuke made his presence more obvious than before. ⌠Why, may I ask, are you stalking me?■

⌠I▓m not stalking you,■ he said simply, ⌠I hadn▓t seen you all day and I was getting worried.■

⌠You? Worried about me? Hah! That▓s a laugh, tell me another one, Uke-chan.■ I said, hoping even as I joked and turned away from him that he was only kidding. I honestly did not want to have to push Sasuke away, especially since presently I was not necessarily capable of much other than sulking. I knew I would not have the stubbornness in this state which I usually had, and therefore I would loose to him easily if he decided to argue.

⌠I▓m sorry for caring about you?■ He sort of asked as he raised an eyebrow at me, I smiled. I remembered hearing something like that once, a long time ago. It had made me laugh, but it seemed like a dream now, even the sound of my own laughter had become alien in my time here in Suna┘no┘in this world┘

I froze, this was a different world, this wasn▓t real. How could I have almost forgotten? How could I have disregarded it so easily? My home, my life, my┘family┘? No┘none of those things were important, none of those things really existed. This was reality now, and I would stay here no matter what. ⌠I▓m sorry for causing world peace?■ I said randomly, closing my eyes and allowing a slight smile to show on my pouting lips.

⌠Heh, I▓m sorry for trying to help you?■ He responded, sitting beside me. He felt a little closer than I would have liked, but the joke continued. I wanted it to get funnier, I wanted it to make me laugh, I wanted to really laugh like I had not. My laughter of that very morning had even been forced, a teasing sort of thing brought on by a good mood, just like all of those other times┘

⌠I▓m sorry for curing cancer?■ I said, looking him in the eyes now, but frowning when I saw what he held inside that soft, dark gaze. I wanted to move away from him, I wanted to run, I wanted to disappear, to sink into the floor, to be anywhere but there at that moment. I knew what was coming but I blocked it out, would not allow my thoughts to continue, could not. I never wanted to hear those words from anyone, no one ever said it to me and meant it. Those words were like a promise that no one ever kept, and I hated the world for their lies.

He hesitated before his lips parted slightly and met mine in a brief flicker of affection, my eyes shot wide and I pulled away from him. Then he gazed at me warmly and whispered, ⌠I▓m sorry for loving you┘■

A small gasp escaped my lips and I was frozen for a long moment, studying his features, trying to find a hint of a lie in his face. A smirk, a twinkle in his eye, anything that I could recognize from my year of AP Psychology to tell that he was lying. I wanted too badly to know he was lying, just joking around, but when I found nothing to support me I became quickly angered and I stood up sharply. I pointed an accusing finger at him and said loudly, ⌠You! You should learn to keep your mouth shut! I swear, one day your going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person and you▓ll get yourself killed!! And you wanna know what I▓ll be doing?! Standing right there and laughing my fucking ass off!!■ He gave me a confused expression, like: ⌠what the hell is wrong with you?■ and I couldn▓t help but freak out. ⌠What the fuck do you mean ▒what the hell is wrong with me▒?!? What the hell is wrong with you?!! Telling me you love me! What kind of sick joke are you trying to pull??■

He cocked an eyebrow at me as I panted, shaking more from nerves than anger, having forgotten to breathe for about 5 minutes. He smirked at me like: ⌠she is so cute when she▓s like this.■ He looked so god damn calm it pissed me off even more and I couldn▓t help but loose it, I grabbed his shoulders and shook him violently.

⌠Respond, damn you!! Respond! I cant be angry if you don▓t say anything for me to retort to!!■ I said desperately, needing a reason to yell more, wanting to make him angry and get some fight out of him. Wanting him to make me angry so I would be able to hate him, so I would be able to turn him away.

He just continued to smile lovingly at me, like some love-struck idiot in the movies. ⌠But I cant┘there▓s nothing to say┘■

I paused, though only for a moment before┘ ⌠AAAUUGH!!! YOU DRIVE ME EVEN MORE INSANE THAN GAARA!!■ I stopped at those words and sighed, yes, he drove me insane. Though I had already been insane before I had come here, so it didn▓t matter. I did not hate Sasuke, but I did not particularly like him, I did not┘could not love him like I did Gaara┘and he needed to know that. ⌠you both drive me crazy┘but┘I like it when Gaara does it┘■ He glared now, I had finally said something that would get on his nerves.

⌠Gaara?■ He growled, disdain and malice dripping from every syllable of the name as he spoke, ⌠How can you like anything about that m-■

⌠Shut up! I know what you▓re going to say, and so help me if you finish that sentence your life will be a living hell from now until I kill you┘which may not be too long if you keep this up┘■ I said dangerously, feeling the full moon glowing in my eyes, knowing that if he said it I would not be able to stop myself. I would attack the boy┘and I would kill him, for insulting my Gaara.

He stood up, his glare softening as he looked at me, and he sighed. ⌠Fine┘■ he began to walk by me, ⌠But, you cant stop me┘I▓ll have you, I promise┘■ It was almost a threat, or a challenge. To which I grinned evilly, I would accept this challenge with open arms, and I would win.

Now, as Sasuke disappeared down to the motel rooms I decided it best to stay clear of them. Fore, by now Itachi and Lauren would be having there ⌠alone time■ and I did not even what to know what Ramona may be doing to Naruto, but I was sure I had heard a pained scream coming from his room earlier. So, the only place I would have left would be in between Sasuke and Lee, not exactly a comfortable position. Anyway, I chose to stay on the roof, perhaps I would be able to sleep with the full moon smiling down on me. I had always had good luck on full moons, though this day had gone rather terribly I had to admit, perhaps my good luck was wearing out? I sighed and spoke to the moon, ⌠So, what▓s the deal, man? I▓m still waiting for my monthly stroke of good luck. Come on, are you hiding some kind of spectacular surprise?■ I rolled onto my stomach and stood up, my hands shoved deep into my pockets, looking up at the silver moon. ⌠Well, for your sake, Dude, it had better be something like a Gaara love confession or I▓ll have to come up there and blow you up or something┘■ I said, smirking and knowing that nothing that awesome could ever happen, for all I knew I would leave without my presence having been anything more than a bother to Sabaku no Gaara, the Kazekage.

I sighed and began humming, my mind lost in a flood of thoughts that I refused to even attempt to try and sift through. I would wait until I▓d had my rest, then I would lay in bed for hours, the door to my motel room locked, and I would go over every thought. I would hate it, and I would probably feel empty afterward, but it was nothing I was not used to. I had grown accustomed to feeling that emptiness, that feeling like there was a hole in my soul that no one could fill. I remember having once asked one of my friends what I should do about this hole┘she told me to try duct-tape┘I sighed again, ▒I should sing myself a soothing song, something that▓ll help me relax┘because god knows I▓ll die if I stay in the silence much longer┘▓ I thought and immediately a song came to mind as I heard a laugh from below. Now, I am quite aware that I suck at singing, though many people have told me I▓m quite good, but I do prefer to just sing softly to myself, if only to hear the song┘despite the sound of my own voice┘

The song a sang softly to the moon was one of the beginning themes to Naruto, a song which meant a lot to me, especially in this state of mind. ⌠Nee Kikoemasuka? ┘Sora wa hateshi naku aoku sunde ite┘Umi wa kagirinaku koudai de ite┘Kimi wa itsuma demo egaode ite ne┘Janaito, naichau kara┘■ (Can you hear me? The sky needs to be blue and clear. The sea needs to be vast. You need to have a smile on you all the time. Or else I will cry.) I hugged myself, fighting back tears as I choked out the song I had memorized long ago, ⌠Mamariwo mimawasanakutemo mou iindayo┘Kono te no naka ni wa minna ga irukara┘Nakitaku natte, nigetaku natte. Shiawase wo wasurete shimattara┘Minna utae┘■ (You don▓t have to look around anymore. Everyone is inside these hands. If you feel like crying or running away. And forget about happiness. Sing.) I sighed, feeling my face drowning wet with my salty tears, glad there was no one there to see me in this weak state. I turned toward the moon in a sudden fit of sadness and rage and belted out, ⌠Hikari ga umare yami ga umareta! Futatsu wa hitotsu Harmonia! Kanjite Telepathy!■ (Light was born then darkness was born. The two are one harmony. Please feel the telepathy.) Finally I felt my legs give out and I fell to my knees, weeping pathetically and feeling much too vulnerable to be alone. Hugging myself I all but whispered the last line, ⌠Nee Kikoemasuka?■ (can you hear me?)

Unable to breathe. Unable to move. Unable to even call for help. Cold as ice from my heart to the very tips of my fingers. Consumed by the feeling that I am slowly dieing┘and I am totally, completely, utterly alone. 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 Too tired┘too bad┘

Alone in the darkness, with the full moon smiling down upon me, I sat there on my knees. I wept for every moment I had spent wasting the time of others with my bothersome presence, my tears making a small puddle between my hands which held me up weakly. I wanted to sleep, but I knew I wouldn▓t be able to even if I tried, the light cast down by the full moon would keep me awake and I would simply be lost in the silence of my tormenting thoughts. I closed my eyes, calming my still flowing tears as they continued to make wet streaks over my red cheeks. I envisioned the one thing at the moment which could have calmed me, my Sabaku no Gaara.

I imagined him standing before me, his black trench coat flowing out behind him in the light breeze, his lonely blue-green eyes watching me with a dark glare that years without sleep had made even more intense by darkening the area around those shocking eyes. Now I heard his voice, in my head at first, but then I realized that I was really hearing a voice. ⌠Ano sa. Nee kikoe masuka?■

My eyes shot open. My imagination had gotten the best of me, he wasn▓t there. Then I felt a hand grab my arm roughly and pull me up to my feet, I gasped when I saw those eyes looking into mine. He let go of me as soon as he saw that I was looking at him, I could tell he had had no intention of touching me when he had revealed himself. He watched me now, waiting for me to talk but all I did was stare. When I realized what I was doing, though, I blinked and looked down and to my left to avoid eye contact. ⌠Hello┘Gaara┘w-what are you doing here?■

I hadn▓t meant to sound rude, but I simply couldn▓t find anything else to say. ⌠Why do you look away?■ I heard him ask, sounding much less stern and perhaps slightly hurt, though it could have simply been my imagination again. ⌠Do you hate me so much that you cannot stand to look at me?■

At this I looked up suddenly coming to meet his eyes, and as I lifted my head I began to speak a bit too loudly, ⌠No!■ I stopped, seeing the lonely intensity in his eyes and I lowered my eyes once more, speaking in all but a whisper. ⌠I┘I just┘I don▓t want to see you looking at me┘Gomen┘■

He said nothing but I could feel his eyes boring holes into the top of my head, as though attempting to see inside my mind, to read my thoughts. I watched his shadow stand perfectly still, cast over me by the moonlight and I suddenly remembered something. It was a full moon, there was something about Gaara under the full moon that made him dangerous (or more so than usual). What was it?

⌠Shukaku!■ I gasped, looking up suddenly to meet his gaze once more, my eyes wide. ⌠Gaara-kun┘■ I kept my gaze locked with his, I needed to read his eyes for the answer to this question, because I knew I would not get a real answer, if any. ⌠Why did you come to me tonight?■ He was silent for a long time, I could see in his eyes that he was going over his answer in his mind, seeming as though he was searching for the right words.

⌠To rest┘■ he said finally, though I had no idea what he meant, he could have done that same thing at his home. Why risk a killing fetish and your own sanity just to find a new place to rest for the night? When he saw the confusion in my features he spoke again, ⌠Your voice calms him┘■ he almost whispered, his lips nearly touching my forehead as we watched each other▓s eyes. ⌠Sing┘let me rest┘■ The way he said it, it sounded like a request more than an order, as though he knew he was not able to order me around.

I smiled at him softly, spreading my arms warmly and welcoming him to lay his ear against my chest. He wrapped his arms around my waist, listening to the steady beat of my heart as we sank to the floor. I began humming a soft tune, trying to think of something to sing to the boy, and he laid his head upon my lap awaiting my song. I began stroking his bloody red hair as the tune to my song drifted into the tune I hummed, and I began my song.

⌠I tire from walking; the raindrops hit my face┘Out here chasing an uncatchable rabbit┘I can see deep into your eyes┘like the bubbling water in the depths of a dark sea┘You▓re calling out to me┘to me┘I▓m right here┘Where┘where should I go to satisfy these desires? ┘Let▓s head home and then tomorrow┘will you smile and say, ▓everything is alright▓? ┘I call out your name┘your name┘I▓ll give you a warm embrace┘Just close your eyes and remember our childhood days┘You make up for the areas that I am lacking┘I▓ve forgotten all about the sad times┘so, I▓m not scared at all┘Now I▓ve lived, and I feel more remorse┘somehow, I managed to grow up┘Now I feel ashamed, and I nervously sweat┘but even still I▓ve found a reason to continue the dance┘I scorch my soul┘my soul┘I▓m yelling out to the heavens! ┘If I just open that door┘that door┘I▓ll be saved┘Let▓s head home and then┘let▓s meet that rabbit on the dark side of the moon┘Let▓s head home, and then tomorrow┘we▓ll be laughing in our bare feet┘you▓re calling out to me┘to me┘I▓ll give you a warm embrace┘Just close your eyes and remember our childhood days┘I tire from walking; the raindrops hit my face┘Out here chasing an uncatchable rabbit┘I can see deep into your eyes┘like the bubbling water in the depths of a dark sea┘I call out your name┘your name┘I▓m right here┘Now, if I can just tell this to my heart┘my heart┘these desires will be satisfied┘■ JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ The next morning I ate breakfast with Kankuro, as usual, but I made no move to start any kind of conversation. My thoughts were lost in the events of the previous night, Gaara had left as soon as light began to show on the horizon and left me alone in silence. He had said nothing before he left, except for a simple, ⌠I will be expecting you┘■

⌠Ano sa! Ano sa, Tsukasa!■ I snapped out of my thoughts at the sound of Kankuro▓s calls. I looked at him, my eyelids drooping slightly from lack of sleep and my eyes glazed as I was still half lost in my own mind. ⌠Are you alright? You look terrible┘■

⌠I▓m fine┘■ I said softly, looking down at the food I had yet to touch, ⌠I just couldn▓t sleep last night is all┘■ I was silent for a moment, as was Kankuro, who had responded with a simple ⌠hmm■. Suddenly a question rose to my mind that I knew would make him suspicious, but I also knew I could not ask Gaara directly. ⌠Kan-chan┘do you think he might miss me?■

⌠Huh?■ Kankuro gave me an odd look, his cheeks bulging with food and I could not help but smirk weakly at this sight.

⌠Gaara┘do you think he▓ll miss me when I go back to my village?■ I asked, dreading the answer which I needed to have.

Kankuro shrugged, ⌠How should I know?■ I sighed, discouraged, and I lowered my gaze once more. ⌠But I know one thing! I▓ll definitely miss you! I wish you could just stay here forever, Tsuka-chin!■ he said with a broad, beaming grin.

I smiled softly, ⌠Thank you, Kan-chan┘■ and then I poked at my food with my fork and sighed, I was no longer as hungry as I had been at one in the morning. ⌠I▓m sorry, I cant eat any of this┘I▓m just too tired┘■

Kankuro froze, stared at me for a moment or two and then jumped up, pointing a fork at me. ⌠You▓re too tired to eat?!!? That▓s not possible! You can always eat!■ I shrugged and shook my head slowly, feeling as though I would fall into my food face-first if I did not get some kind of caffeine into my system. ⌠That▓s it! I▓m taking you back to your motel! You need sleep!■ I paused and then grasped what he had said, delayed reactions are part of being that tired.

⌠No! I-I cant┘■ I stifled a yawn, ⌠I need to go to negotiations with Kazekage-sama! And besides┘Sasuke and Lee are back there┘and I have no desire to be around them both at the same time┘■

⌠Then you▓re coming home with me! You can sleep in Gaara▓s room, he never uses his bed anyway.■ Kankuro said, jumping up from the table, leaving some money on it and pulling me back to his house, me protesting half-heartedly the entire way.

At Kankuro▓s house he showed me to Gaara▓s room, which I stood outside of for a long time. I had not even a remote desire tucked away in the back of my consciousness to go into that room, you don▓t just go sleep in someone else▓s room without their permission, it simply isn▓t done. Not to mention I▓d be too caught up in thoughts of what Gaara may do to me if he found me in there to even get any sleep. Kankuro came from his room carrying a blanket and some pillows and paused when he saw me, still standing before Gaara▓s door. Simply staring at it blankly, eyes half closed, almost swaying noticeably back and forth like a drunk. ⌠Huh? Ano sa┘why aren▓t you already in there?■ he said, opening the door with his free hand, placing the pillows atop the blanket in his other hand. ⌠Well, go on in!■ he said, pushing me into the room.

I stumbled in clumsily, and stood in the center of the room as Kankuro made up the bare mattress that sat on a metal frame on the far side of the room. Other than the bed there wasn▓t much else in the room, the walls were bare, sort of gray-ish, and they had slight cracks coming down from the ceiling. There was a small closet on the wall to my right, and on my left there was a small window. A wooden desk, sort of like the writing desk my grandmother used to own, sat against the wall beside the door. Oddly enough, it reminded me of my own room back in Kuraigakure-minus the ramen cups and stuffed animals. I felt instantly comfortable as I laid myself down upon the bed Kankuro had made up for me, ⌠Ano sa┘Kan-chan┘?■ I said shyly as he made his way to the door.

He turned toward me with a warm smile, and seemed to instantly know what I was going to say. ⌠Don▓t worry about Gaara, I▓ll let him know you cant come in today. But I wont mention that you▓re also sleeping in his bed.■ He placed his index finger to his lips and winked at me, he knew me better than any of my other friends.

I smiled, and as he closed the door to Gaara▓s room I whispered out to him, ⌠Arrigato gozaimasu┘Kankuro┘chan┘■ And with that thank you I fell into a heavy unconsciousness.

When I had finally opened my eyes from my dreamless sleep, the sky outside the window had a dark orange hew as the sun sank behind the wall of the village to hide from the rising moon in an everlasting game of hide-and-seek. I yawned widely and stretched, cat-like, arching my back and stretching my arms out before my body. I was rubbing the sleep out of my dark eyes, sitting upon the bed with my back end rested on my heels, when I heard the voices from downstairs getting loud enough for me to hear clearly. I listened intently, not meaning to be nosy, but still curious.

I heard Kankuro▓s voice, he was yelling at someone. ⌠Demo┘she hadn▓t slept all night! Come on! She was practically falling asleep in her food when we went out for breakfast!■ He was either explaining my presence to Temari, or┘I didn▓t want to think about the other possibility because it made my stomach do flips. ⌠And each time I checked up on her she was out! Like something dead!⌠ I shook my head, telling myself over and over again that it was only Temari who had probably wondered why there were no sheets on Kankuro▓s bed. Yes. That had to be it.

I was in the middle of reassuring myself when I heard the second person▓s voice, apathetic and still. Cold, yet I could hear something like jealousy in his tone. ⌠Why do you spend so much time with her?■ I froze, wanting to jump out of the window so that I wouldn▓t be found. Instead I crawled under the sheets for protection, laying my head on the pillow and watching the door as I continued to listen to the conversation.

⌠W-what?! What does that have to do with her not being at negotiations?■ Kankuro had calmed, but he was a naturally loud person so I could here him well enough. There was no response from the other man, but I knew he was probably glaring daggers at Kankuro. ⌠I guess it▓s because we▓re friends, but why do you care?■ No response, only footsteps.

FOOTSTEPS?!?! Coming my way, oh, no! He was coming to his room, I pleaded with Kankuro, in my mind, to stop the man from opening his bedroom door. Suddenly I heard fast paced footsteps and Kankuro▓s desperate voice, right outside the door. ⌠Uh, Gaara, you really don▓t want to go in there.■ No response. ⌠Seriously, Gaara, why don▓t you go┘um┘get something to eat? Yeah! Grab some money and go out for dinner, huh?!■ He sounded shaky, Gaara must have been killing him with his eyes. The doorknob turned, ⌠No! Gaara! Wait!!■

The door opened and I sat bolt upright, holding the sheet close to myself as Gaara stared at me with curiously wide eyes. We watched each other for a long time, neither spoke, but I could see Kankuro in my peripheral vision; standing behind Gaara, he looked shaky and frightened of how the red-head may react to finding a girl in his bed. Gaara said nothing, simply closed the bedroom door as he stepped into the room.

As he neared me I backed away as much as possible without getting off the bed, not frightened so much as terrified. I could feel my entire body shaking from my nerves, his very presence made me feel like an insect. He never took his eyes off of me as he walked over to the bed where I sat, and crawled over to me as I tried to melt into the wall that I had backed into. Squeaking slightly as his face came dangerously close to my own, I felt as though I might die from my nerves. He glared at me and opened his mouth, I looked away from him and shut my eyes tight, not wanting to see how he was planning to inflict pain upon my vulnerable body. But, no pain came, only calm words. ⌠You didn▓t come today.■ He said simply, I opened my eyes and looked at him in curious confusion.

⌠I┘I▓m sorry┘■ I said to his sad glare, he seemed hurt for some reason. ⌠I wanted to come┘■ I looked down and to my left, avoiding eye contact. ⌠I really did want to come┘but Kankuro insisted I get some rest┘a-and I▓m sorry for intruding on your room!■ I added suddenly, looking up at him in my nervous outburst. ⌠I-I couldn▓t go back to the motel because the only place to sleep was in Sasuke and Lee▓s room and I really don▓t want to be around Sasuke right now. So, I was going to meet you for negotiations like I always do, if only to get away from the others for a day, but Kankuro said I could sleep here. So, I▓m really, really sorry about being here. I can leave now, if you want me to.■ My rant had received an odd look from Gaara, he raised one non-existent eyebrow at me and cocked his head ever-so-slightly to one side.

⌠You talk too much.■ he said flatly, causing me to blush furiously as I looked down at my hands gripping the blanket on my knees. ⌠Are they precious to you?■ I heard him ask, though at first I had not believed what I had heard.

I looked up suddenly, ⌠huh?■ Our eyes met and he seemed to be watching me with cruel suspicion. ⌠I-I┘I suppose┘they are my friends after all┘■ I saw him lower his eyes for the first time and I hastily added, ⌠B-but, you▓re precious too, Gaara-kun!■ As soon as he looked at me I gasped, realizing what I had said. I looked away, how could I have said that? Of course I meant it, but I had promised myself he would never know of my feelings, I did not want to seem like I was just using him. No┘I could never do that to my Gaara┘ ⌠I mean┘you have always been┘my most precious person┘Gaara-kun┘■ I finally whispered, feeling my face burn red from my embarrassment at this humbling confession.

Our eyes met once more as he stared at me in astonishment and disbelief, I knew he was trying to prove me wrong in his mind. Find something in my past actions to prove that I was lying, so that he could catch me in a lie and kill me. So that he would never have to feel the pain of being betrayed, he wanted me to lie. But I knew he knew I was telling the truth, because all I had ever done was simply to get his attention, or to make him lighten up and smile a bit maybe. All I had ever done, everything I wanted, was for Gaara┘⌠I love you┘■ 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 What did you say?

He stared at me for a long time after that moment where I had shown my soul, that split second where my eyes had become clear and I let him see everything. Those three words held everything I was in them, and I could not help but feel humbled as his teal eyes watched me unwaveringly. They were wide, filled with fear, curiosity, disbelief, and for the first time in all of the years that I had been watching Gaara┘there was a hint of happiness in them. For once someone was looking him in the eye and showing him the honesty and absolute awe of being in love, for once I could see him shaking as he felt the full impact of my words.

I had not expected anything from him, never had I wanted him to repeat those words to me, fore I knew it would be a lie. Gaara knew not the meaning of love, only the pain it could cause when placed in the wrong person. And, despite his past actions, and his lack of feeling, I knew I could trust him to be true to me if I asked him to be. He may have been unstable, but he was honest, and that I was sure of. Now, as he lowered his head onto my shoulder and wrapped his arms around the upper part of my body, I felt his heat for the first time. He was nothing like I had imagined, not like the previous night either. Then he had been as cold as the surrounding sand of the freezing desert, sending a shiver down my spine as he had held me. Now, though, he emanated warmth and it comforted me as I rested my arms on his shoulders and ran my fingers through his blood-red hair.

Neither of us spoke again for the entire night, words were not needed. We could hear each other in our silence, almost as though we were reading each other▓s thoughts. After a long time spent with us holding each other as closely as possible, losing ourselves in each other▓s heated presence, he lifted his head. I don▓t know how he had realized it, but somehow he had known how tired I was. He stood from the bed and allowed me to lay down beneath the sheets, my head rested comfortably on the piled pillows. Once he saw that I was comfortable (which isn▓t hard on his bed, IT WAS SO SOFT! TT) he lay down beside me and wrapped his arms around my middle. At first I was surprised and was tempted to squirm away in my uncomfortable-ness, but I soon melted into his heat once more and fell into wonderful dreams┘

That crimson butterfly kissed my nose, my eyes flashed open and the meadow came to life. The paper flowers that littered the ground were torn to pieces by the breeze and sent flying past my long hair. I turned to watch the butterfly and saw my love, his dark-lined eyes watching me calmly as I smile at him sweetly. I love this place, where I can be truly happy, but there is only one problem. Even as I reach out for my love, I know I wont feel him, fore he is not there. He is but a dream, an emptiness replaced by a black hole which sucks me in, consuming the whole of me and leaving me to struggle in terrorized, silent darkness.

I woke to the feeling of soft breathing on the back of my bare neck, he was still there, still awake, and still holding me closely. I rolled over to look at him, our eyes met and I smiled warmly, he was not a dream. Consumed by my happiness I leaned forward on my side and kissed the tip of his nose, to which he reacted with wide eyes. I giggled softly, watching the light leak in through the window and play across his features, he looked like a small child. I grinned and wrapped my arms around his neck, wanting to stay here for ever and never let go, but I knew I would have to return to the others eventually. So, with a heavy sigh and a look of disappointment from Gaara, I stood from the bed and brushed back my hair with my fingers. I had put it in a braid before going to sleep the first time, and now it was a mess of braided yellow string. ⌠I need a shower┘and a change of cloths┘■ I said softly and Gaara stood behind me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and leaning down to nuzzle the base of my neck.

⌠I will escort you back to where you are staying, then┘■ he said softly, almost a mix between a whisper and a low growl. Then I felt his lips press against my cheek in a soft, curious kiss. I turned to look at him, perhaps a bit too suddenly and he looked shocked. ⌠Was I not supposed to do that?■ he asked, holding his flat tone but looking like a frightened child.

I smiled and shook my head, ⌠No, that▓s what you▓re supposed to do. You just surprised me is all.■ I said with a soft chuckle, indeed he had surprised me. I had never felt anyone kiss my cheek with that kind of subtle attraction and care, like one would handle a butterfly. A butterfly? Was that what he saw me as? If so, then I was flattered.We arrived at the motel swiftly, I was still trying to silently show Gaara how he was supposed to act now that he and I were sort of together┘in a way┘ U Anyway┘I was holding his hand as we walked up to my room and knocked on the door, he watched in silence as Lee answered the door loudly.

The boy swung the door open with a loud, ⌠TSUKASA!!■ then he wrapped his arms around my shoulders in a huge bear hug, which Gaara watched disapprovingly. ⌠Where have you been?! Sasuke and I have been so worried about you!■ I froze at this, and Lee must have felt my body tense up because he let me go and looked at me slowly. ⌠Tsukasa? What▓s wrong?■ He watched me for a moment before Sasuke entered the doorway, I saw him watching me out of the corner of my eyes.

⌠Tsukasa,■ he began, sounding very threatening as he spoke. He was looking at Gaara, glaring really, with the same malicious intent that he had shown his brother not too long ago. ⌠Why is he here?■ As soon as the question had been asked I had to bring myself to glare slightly at Sasuke, I had warned him about this kind of behavior the other night.

⌠Because, Sasuke, he was simply being hospitable.■ I said low in my throat, almost growling.

Finally Sasuke turned his attention toward me, looking me up and down for a moment before getting a suspicious look on his features. ⌠Those are the same cloths you left in yesterday┘why didn▓t you come home last night, Tsukasa?■ He sounded like a possessive, overprotective boyfriend or even┘like my husband┘I shivered at the thought.

As I opened my mouth to answer Sasuke▓s question I heard Gaara▓s voice behind me, he had taken the liberty of answering the question for me. ⌠She was with me.■ At this both Sasuke and Lee tensed noticeably, seeming to look worried, angry and suspicious all at once.

⌠What did you say?■ Sasuke said through gritted teeth, he sounded as though he wanted to yell many insulting things at the red-head behind me. His body was shaking in rage and his fists were clenched at his sides, he looked at me for his answer which I gave without a single note as to how angry and frightened I was at the moment.

⌠He said I was with him all night┘which I was.■ I said simply, looking away from Sasuke but, speaking clearly. ⌠I slept at his place.■ I finished, not wanting him to know exactly where I had slept. Though, with my luck, I knew he would probably ask.

And, as I had predicted, ⌠Where exactly in his home did you sleep?■ he asked, I could see that he was trying his very best to seem as calm as possible.

Before I could answer, my plan had been to calmly work my way around the subject without actually telling him where I had slept. Though I never had the chance, ⌠She slept in my bed┘with me┘■ Gaara said calmly, as though it was the most normal thing in the world for a boy and a girl to share a bed. I almost laughed at his childish ignorance┘almost.

What I did do was smile at him, which Sasuke noticed and instantly labeled as a bad thing. ⌠Tsukasa┘I need to speak with you.■ he growled out, almost glaring at me threateningly. I backed up slightly, watching him in annoyed confusion and slight disgust.

⌠Whatever you want to say, Uke-chan, you can say it right here.■ I said, stressing his nickname in a way that I knew he would understand how much I wanted to get off the subject. He paused, as did I, and we exchanged sharp glares as Lee watched like U Poor guy was stuck in the center of a violent and frightening love triangle, watching his own personal soap opera unfold before his eyes.

Finally Sasuke gave in, for the time being at least, and sighed in angry defeat. ⌠Never mind, just get dressed.■ I smiled, thinking it was over, but as I passed him to go through the doorway he grabbed my arm to stop me and he hissed in my ear. ⌠I want you back at six, no later. We need to talk.■ With that he released me and I, though sufficiently confused, went to retrieve and change my cloths.

At this point I wanted to melt into the floor and disappear for the day, simply turn invisible and find a place to sleep. ▒Gaara▓s bed was nice enough,▓ I thought with a smirk, then continued aloud, ⌠heh, maybe I should go there every time I want a good night▓s rest┘■ then my thoughts turned perverted, ⌠Or maybe a little fun. Heh heh heh┘■ I smiled to myself warmly until I heard a voice behind me.

⌠Go where? I wanna go too!■ His childish voice came from beneath the bed and I bent over, wearing little more than my underwear and bra, and found a blonde boy hiding under the motel bed.

⌠Naruto┘what are you doing under there?■ I looked him over and added, ⌠and in your boxers?■

He laughed nervously, ⌠Heh, funny story┘um┘let▓s see┘■ I paused as I heard a knock on the bedroom door.

⌠Who is it?■ I called in a sing-song voice.

⌠Kaoru!■

⌠Come in!■ she opened the door and walked in, she was wearing a kick-ass dominatrix outfit with belts and chains handing from it. Her fish-net stockings had holes in them and her boots added almost a foot to her height, making her that much taller than me. She carried a whip and a black leather flogger, and I kind of had an idea of who they were for.

⌠Have you seen Naru-chan?■ she asked, ⌠We were playing a game but I lost him.■ she said innocently, I wasn▓t even going to think about asking what kind of game they had been playing (which she had probably forced him to play).

I simply shook my head, for Naruto▓s sake, and said, ⌠No, I haven▓t┘sorry. Good luck finding him, though.■ I smiled and she punched the air in frustration, then she sighed and bid me a farewell before leaving me to bend over and give Naruto a sympathetic look. ⌠If you want you can hide here as long as you like┘just┘don▓t get into the habit of watching me dress, okay?■ he nodded and whispered his thanks and I went back to dressing, after all, I knew the others would not be so patient as to wait out there all day. 


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 Not Exactly Negotiating┘

I trotted along behind Gaara as he lead the way through the village, I felt like the tag-along pup I used to be. It wasn▓t comforting, it was frightening, I hated feeling so insignificant that I couldn▓t even walk alongside him. But, I didn▓t want to try to do so, fore I thought he may get angry with me. Now was no time to be clingy, I had to be professional, or as professional as possible┘

When we arrived at his office Gaara shut the door and leaned against it a moment, watching me curiously. I watched him watch me as I walked toward the window, I was thrown off by this odd behavior and embarrassed by the unanticipated and slightly unwanted attention. I looked out the window for a moment, watching the people below beginning their days as though everything were normal. Lucky them, with their normal lives, at least they didn▓t have the Kazekage▓s eyes boring holes into the back of their skull. Finally, feeling as though I would die if his gaze did not falter soon, I turned to face him with a slightly forced smile. I hoped to hell that he couldn▓t tell it was fake, truly I did. ⌠So, shall we get to our negotiations?■

I strode quickly toward the desk only to almost run headlong into him, I stopped suddenly and looked up to him with my mouth slightly open, which I unfortunately didn▓t notice until later. He watched me, I couldn▓t tell if he was angry, or scrutinizing, or suspicious, or what? I really couldn▓t read his eyes, and it wasn▓t fair, because that meant he was too unstable for me to deal with. Something was wrong, something was going through his mind that Shukaku must have been contradicting as much as possible. Finally, he opened his mouth and spoke, though it sounded as though he was struggling to get the words out. ⌠Tsukasa┘I am┘a monster┘■ he seemed to be mentally battling with Shukaku, my suspicions were only confirmed when he doubled over and grabbed at his head in pain. ⌠Your song┘please┘■

I paused, at first I did not know what he was talking about, but then I remembered the other night. He had said that my voice calms Shukaku, he needed my songs to keep him sane. I was frantic for a moment while trying to think of what song to sing to the boy, and when I finally thought of a song I began swiftly. ⌠Once┘I had a dream┘and this is it┘■ His hold on his head instantly faltered and I relaxed only slightly, not stopping my song.

⌠Once there was a child▓s dream, One night the clock struck twelve, The window open wide Once there was a child▓s heart The age I learned to fly And took a step outside.

⌠Once I knew all the tales It▓s time to turn back time Follow the pale moonlight Once I wished for this night Faith brought me here It▓s time to cut the rope and fly

⌠Fly to a dream Far across sea All the burdens gone Open the chest once more Dark chest of wonders Seen through the eyes Of the one with pure heart.  
Once so long ago

⌠The one in the Big Blue is what the world stole from me This night will bring him back to me

⌠Fly to a dream┘■

At this point I had him in my arms, I was cradling him like one would a child. He clung to me as though his life depended on it, and he rested his head just below my shoulder, showing me there was no perverted intent. Not that I expected something like that from Gaara, it was just reassuring. I smiled softly as I finished my song, petting his blood-red hair lovingly, when I felt him lift me off the ground suddenly. He sat on the large soft chair behind his desk, setting me upon his lap with his head still rested upon my chest. We sat this way for a long time before I chose to speak, ⌠Gaara,■ I whispered, ⌠we should start negotiating┘really┘■

His eyes were closed and he looked at ease as he spoke sleepily, ⌠Iie┘not today┘■ I sighed, I wasn▓t going to push him today so I nodded. We sat in silence for a long while before I heard him speak again. ⌠Tsukasa┘?■

⌠Yes, Gaara?■ I whispered comfortingly, resting my chin upon his head which laid comfortably upon my chest.

⌠You will have to leave when we finish┘wont you?■

⌠Yes┘I suppose I will┘■

⌠Oh┘■ He was quiet for a moment and it worried me, so I thought about whether I really had to go or not.

⌠Or┘maybe I could make the others take everything back┘and I could stay here with you┘■ I thought it over for a moment or two, it might work. Despite how immature and stupid the others may have acted, they were certainly able to complete a mission effectively. ⌠Yes, that is what I▓ll do. I will stay here with you, Gaara, I swear it.■

⌠You┘will┘?■

⌠Yes, I promise I will always stay with you┘no matter what you do, you▓ll never be able to get rid of me.■ I said it in a warning tone, though I doubt he saw it as a warning. He looked me in the eye and I swear on all that is yaoi I think I saw the slightest hint of a smile pulling at the very edges of his lips.

⌠Why?■ he finally asked.

⌠Because, honey, I love you.■ I said softly, planting a soft kiss upon the scar on his forehead. ⌠And nothing will ever change that.■ I said it as though he should already have known, which he should have and I smiled lovingly. He seemed to be delighted by the thought of me staying with him forever, even though he never actually displayed any emotions, I could see the change in his eyes. 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 What are you doing? 

He escorted me home that night, me walking right beside him as we strode silently back to the motel. I was beaming brightly as we walked up to the door and paused a moment, we turned to face each other and I looked at my feet, blushing. His gaze was always so powerful, it could make me into a child or a woman depending on what he wanted from me. Finally I heard Sasuke's voice ringing out from inside the room, "I DON'T CARE WHERE SHE IS!! SHE'S LATE AND I'M GOING TO GET HER!" I sighed and shook my head.

"I should hurry and get inside." I said softly, turning to walk into the room, but feeling a hand grab my wrist. I turned back to Gaara, he was watching me expectantly, like he knew what was supposed to happen but had no idea as to how it should be done. I smiled at him, "I'll see you tomorrow." Then, just as Sasuke emerged from the motel room I found myself planting an innocent kiss upon Gaara's soft lips. Not but a peck with tightly sealed lips, but it was enough to get a reaction from our unexpected spectator.

"YOU!!" Sasuke's angry voice came from behind me. I pulled away from Gaara, who wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me to him protectively as I turned to face Sasuke. "What do you think you're doing?!" I looked from Sasuke to Gaara, not sure which one of us Sasuke was speaking to, though it could have been both of us. "I told you to be back at six and it's seven-thirty!" He was yelling at me.

"I know, Uke-chan, I have a job to do and it just happened to take a bit longer than usual today." I said, brushing my hair back nonchalantly. I had nothing to worry about unless Gaara decided to get offended.

"I don't think a kiss is in your job description!" Sasuke yelled, he sounded like a mother hen. Hell, he sounded like I do when my friends act like whores, I should remember to apologize to them for that. "Get inside, now, I want to talk to you."

"Gods, Uke-chan, you sound like my father." I said softly, "I'm coming, I swear I'm not gonna run off. Go inside I'm following you." After he had disappeared, though reluctantly I gave Gaara a hug and said I would see him again in the morning. He nodded and I joined Sasuke and Lee in their room, closing the door behind me. "So," I said with crossed arms, "what's the problem?"

"What's the problem?!" Sasuke repeated, sounding shocked, "The problem is you and that freak!"

"Excuse me, Uke-chan, 'that freak', as you so delicately put it, has a name. So use it."

"I don't have to! I have every right to call him a freak! I have every right to insult anyone who tries to take what is rightfully mine."

I paused, eyes wide in disbelief, and I stared at him for a moment before narrowing my eyes at him. "Excuse me, Uke-chan? What is rightfully yours?" I shook my head at him, "ah-ah. I don't think so. I don't belong to you or any other person, and when did you ever ask me if I felt anything beyond friendship toward you?" he opened his mouth but I interrupted, "No. Don't speak. Because whenever you speak I can feel my IQ dropping. You sound stupid when you talk. You've always been stupid, ever since I first saw you. Actually, the very first time I laid eyes on you, I hated you. You, Mr. Perfect. Mr. Bishonen, but what no one ever sees is where you are flawed. I know what flaws you have, because I'm not in denial like everyone else. You're rude, disrespectful, possessive, you have a terrible judge of character, you're arrogant and self-absorbed, you're always getting into fights that you know you're going to lose, and to put a cherry on top, you're just plain STUPID! So don't try to tell me what I can and cannot or will and will not do, because you have no control over me, if anything I have all of the control over you and if I don't, I should because you've never made a good decision in your entire life!" After my rant I stormed out of the room and nearly broke down the door to mine, Kurumi's, and Kaoru's room, causing a half-naked Itachi to fall off the bed he had been sitting in. Kurumi, though, was in the shower at the moment, I could see the steam coming from under the bathroom door.

"Tsukasa, I haven't seen you in a while, where have you been?" he asked, sounding disinterested, but probably trying to keep himself looking cool even while rubbing the pain out of his ass as he stood from the floor. I grabbed his cloths from the dresser and threw them at him, he caught them, a look of confusion on his face.

"I'm kicking you out, I need some sleep. Go tell Kaoru to get her Hispanic ass in here now, and do me a favor."

"Yeah?"

"Kill your brother for me." With that I shoved him out the door, carrying his cloths and dressed only in his boxers.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 A short break┘ 

(A/N: Okay, I got tired of all the drama, so for this special chapter I'm gonna give you the story of my friends that I left back in Konoha. This part will go from 3rd person to different people's POV's, I decided that we need some comedy and this story is pretty damn funny.)

3rd Person:In Konoha, the Kurai-nin who had been left behind were seeing this time without the "mother hen" as something resembling a vacation. Haruko decided that, since she had nothing better to do, she would spend every second possible with Kiba. Mamimi was mourning the loss of her beloved Kaoru, whilst hanging around with Shino simply to fill her time. The entire time, Momo was on her own, perhaps forgotten by the others, but doing perfectly fine by herself. She had Konohamaru to keep her company and she was more than safe in Konoha, she had nearly completely forgotten the world she had left behind nearly three months ago. "Out of sight, out of mind", as they say.

Right now, we join Haruko and her dearest pet hanging out in a meadow and eating lunch as Kiba trains.

(Haruko's POV)I sat in the field, watching Kiba do random ninja training. Akamaru shifted a bit, reminding me of a long overdue nap. Kiba was an early riser. He'd woken me before dawn almost every morning. I laid down in the field and soon fell asleep. A moment later I felt something jump onto my stomach, to which I responded with a grunt and an angry sigh. I grudgingly opened my eyes and saw Kiba sitting there, that stupid grin taking up half of his face. "Tag, you're it," he said with a laugh before running off. So, as if on cue, I jumped up and started chasing him. Right as I had finally reached him, though, he jumped out of sight and I consequently ran into a tree and fell back to the ground. Light flashed before my eyes and suddenly I was back at the day when my "Mother" had left me in Konoha. At first I had been slightly disappointed that she hadn't let me go too, luckily I'm easily distracted. Kiba liked, very much, to play tag, though Akamaru did not. Akamaru reminded me vaguely of Jaken-sama when it came to tag. The three of us had spent most of our time waking before dawn so that we could play tag all day. At night we'd fall asleep under an oddly-out-of-place willow tree. On the few days when we hadn't played tag we tended to wander, most often playing pranks on Kakashi. My favorite one had involved Akamaru, lime jell-o, and a sling-shot. Light flashed again and I was back on the ground, Kiba sitting upon my stomach as usual. He watched me closely as I lay motionless, he looked a bit concerned. As I slowly turned blue Kiba looked to get more and more worried. Eventually Akamaru told him to get off of my stomach and I could finally take a nice deep breath, relieved as the air filled my lungs once more. Kiba just laughed, "Are you alright?"

"Fine" I croaked, still slightly stunned from the impact.

Then, for some random reason, Kakashi walked out from behind the tree, seeming as though he had a smile on his hidden face. "It would seem that the tree won." At this I sat up, smirked, and did my special seal that made a previously non-existent water balloon to appear over Kakashi's head. Then, as I thanked the spirits for gravity, the water balloon fell and splashed over Kakashi's head, thoroughly messing up his oh-so-wonderful hairdo. Then he gave me one of those "I'll get you for this" looks and walked away. I then laid back in the grass and Kiba sat beside my head, both of us wearing broad grins.

"The tree's it," I said happily, feeling tired and sighing with fatigue.

"Why, thank you!" responded the tree in a deep voice, to which I sat bolt upright and both me and Kiba stared at the frightening tree with wide eyes.

(A/N) Well, that was...random...and quite entertaining! hope you all enjoyed the break from the drama. Next chapter we're back to the main story! Yay, drama, like a soap opera!


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 The Long Revelation, and the Slow Salvation 

**9:00 pm:** I was steamed, to say the least. Kaoru and Kurumi shared one bed while I paced in front of mine in the dark, my thoughts wouldn't stop long enough for me to at least deal with them in my subconscious. Everything made me angry, every bit of this experience. The fact that I had just handed everyone else a happy ending on a silver platter, while I got tossed around like a used rag. Sasuke thought he could just claim me, and I knew I wanted Gaara but could never have him because of the separation of our villages. The fact that I had to leave when we were finished with the negotiations was reason enough to just give up on what I was trying to make between myself and Gaara.

**10:00 pm:** The room was almost closing in on me, I had to retreat to the bathroom and breathe. In the bathroom I found the solution to my problems, a razor. I picked it up, looked it over, thought it over, and set it back down. I sat in the tub, fully clothed, clutching my knees to my chest and resting my chin on them. I kept glancing toward the razor, the recurring thought seemed so attractive each time it came up, though only for a moment. After a minute or so of simply looking at the razor, each time I would look away, remembering what kind of damage my bad habits had done to those around me before. Then again, this wasn't the same. This was a land where everyone else's dreams were coming true, why would they care? And if I hid it┘no! I can't, it's not good, remember? I had to leave the bathroom after about an hour of battling with myself.

**11:00 pm: **I sighed and threw myself on my bed, half-heartedly attempting to fall asleep. Nothing for about half an hour, I gave up and went out on the roof to pace a little more. Back and forth, back and forth, I couldn't stand it. I was slowly going insane, the longer I stayed in this place the more dangerous it would become for myself and those around me. I beat my head against the cement wall long enough to make myself bleed from the center of my forehead, and my fingers were going numb from flexing them so many times in the past hour.

**Midnight:** the moon was right overhead and my thoughts still weren't in order. What to do? What to do? How would I get my happy ending? Should I just give up on my happy ending? If I were to have a happy ending, would it more likely be with Gaara or Sasuke? How long would it be before I had to leave Gaara and return to my village? Why does it always seem like the entire universe is working against me? What if I just died right here, would it make a difference in anybody's life? Would anyone care? Would anyone even notice?

**1:00 am:** The shadows all around me seemed to be pulsating. I was hearing things, some outside of myself, others in my head. Whispers, soft laughter, angered shouts, though the most trying sound on my conscious mind was the resonating sound of nails scraping repeatedly on a chalkboard inside my head. No matter how I tried to stop it, it just wouldn't go away. The continuously torturous sound simply kept on going. That mixed with the other noises made me curl up into a ball, my knees touching my chest and my hands covering my ears desperately.

**2:00 am: **I was pacing on the roof; the noises were still there, and louder than ever. I had my hands over my ears and I was talking to myself, just talking, saying whatever came to mind in order to stop the noises, the voices, everything. I just wanted it all to stop. "Stop it," I said repeatedly, "just stop, please? What did I ever do to deserve this? Why me? Why not someone more deserving of torture? What have I ever done to anyone to deserve this? I am a generally nice person, am I not? Come on, stop! You have no right to torture me like this, if at all. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, STOP!!" I froze, I could hear my own voice echoing through the city, but nothing else. They had stopped for now, but they would come back if I wasn't careful, I knew they would.

**2:30 am:** Sitting on the edge of the roof, watching the stars, I kept my mind occupied so that it would not bring back those terrible sounds. The sounds of my past life...my life in the other world. The world I had almost forgotten. It was the real world...or was this the real world? I wasn't sure anymore. I couldn't tell the difference, I had no idea whether this was the dream or if I had simply just woken up from that dream. I couldn't be sure of anything, I hugged myself protectively as a breeze chilled me down to the bone. I was beginning to hear the sounds again, they were only just starting. I pulled my knees up to my chest once more and looked up at the moon, it had to have been close to three o'clock in the morning. It had always been my demon hour, and it was so close that I could feel it breathing down my neck like a repulsive monster. I had always hated three in the morning.

**3:00 am, The Demon Hour:** I was standing again, pacing. My head was throbbing with the sounds of the night mixed with the voices inside my head. Cats roaming the streets I could hear their every movement Dogs barking miles away The rats in the walls of the motel scurrying around beneath me scratching at the wood The shifting of the sand as another chilling breeze blew so casually by Nails on a chalkboard as though the sound was being amplified by a megaphone held right beside my ear And then the voices the ridiculing whispers the haunting laughter the screams from behind the wall of my bedroom I knew it wasn't a dream it couldn't have been a dream It had been my reality it had been real and now it was calling me back from this reality. "No," I told myself, "No, I cant go back there...not that place again...not that life!" Whispers echoed through my head saying, "it is where you belong┘this is not your world..." I grabbed my head, "No, I don't belong there! They never wanted me! They never needed me!" The echoing whispers, "No one needs you here either..." I knew it was true, there was no way I could have denied it, and I hated that fact. The tears came slowly, first welling in my eyes, stinging, burning, and blurring my vision. Then rolling down my cheeks like trails of fire on my skin. I hated reality, I hated all reality, and I wanted it to end. I had been living based on the fact that someone might need me some day, I now knew that I was living a lie. Sasuke did not care for me, he just thought he owned me, he had never really cared. And even if he did care, he would never show it, he was worse at expressing himself than Gaara. Gaara, who was I kidding? There was nothing I could have done about Gaara, I couldn't have helped him, I couldn't have done what he needed me to do for him. What he needs is for someone to take Shukaku from him and give him some kind of release, he needs someone to teach him the meaning of love. What could I do? Nothing! I barely knew the meaning of love myself, how could I possibly make Gaara see its true meaning?! What point did I have to exist? Nothing! A lie! It had all been a lie! Everything! Every time I had convinced myself to live just one more day, everything I had told myself had been a complete lie! I found my way back to the hotel room, staggered into the bathroom and locked the door. I removed a kunai from my shoe. There was no point to anything anymore, why go on living if there is no purpose to it? Why bother? This was my revelation.

**4:00 am: **The feeling of cold metal on skin was something I had not felt in months. As I watched the red tears flow from my right arm, just behind my elbow, I did the same to my other arm. Then again to both of my wrists. The stinging was soothing, it was only a minute or two before the voices stopped completely. Everything went quiet and I could feel myself losing strength. I dropped to my knees, hugging myself. All of the heat left my body and I shook from the cold. The once white floor had been stained red by my blood. I smiled, and then my world went dark.

Unable to breathe. Unable to move. Unable to even call for help. Cold as ice from my heart to the very tips of my fingers. Slowly dieing and I am totally, completely, utterly alone.  
This was my salvation.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16The Dream of Gaara A/N: This chap is in Gaara's point of view, since the main character is pretty much dead. 

I was sitting in my office, waiting for her as usual. I had been preparing for it all night, looking in the mirror and repeating the words over and over again to myself. For some reason, though, they never sounded right. Perhaps, I had thought, they would sound better while she looked me in the eyes. Her confidence made me feel as though I needn't be so distant, but old habits really do die hard.

When there came a knock on the door I never expected Lee to come running into my office, covered in blood. The fear in his eyes was obvious, he had been crying as well. He stood before me with wide eyes and opened his mouth to deliver some news, but he choked on his words. All he could get out was her name, "Tsukasa..." In that instant I knew something had happened to her, though I'd had no idea what it could have been. I ran after Lee and we took off in the direction of the motel where she was staying, I had no idea why they hadn't taken her to a hospital if she was bleeding enough to get it all over Lee.

All of my questions were answered, though, when I burst into the room where every one of her friends were gathered. All of them had solemn expressions on their faces, Naruto and Kurumi had been crying by the look of them. Itachi held Kurumi in his arms protectively, watching me warily as I walked by. Sasuke was nowhere to be found, of course it was typical for someone like him to run when faced with death. Kaoru sat just outside the bathroom door, her knees drawn up to her chest, and she simply stared as though looking straight through the floor. She was as lost to the world as someone who had lost their life.

I placed a hand on the doorknob, I was trembling. Somehow that girl had had the power, from day one, to make me tremble with fear. No one else had ever been able to do such a thing. I opened the door and looked with cold blood at the sight on the bathroom floor, I had to lose the emotion she had handed to me, otherwise I would have broken down into tears. My Tsukasa, the first person to ever get it through my head that there was something to life other than anger and depression. She lay upon the bathroom floor, drowned in a pool of her own blood, cuts all over her arms. She was gone, even before I could know her like I truly wished to.

I had no choice, I bent and lifted her limp body into my arms. I carried her out of the bathroom and laid her atop her own bed, still neatly made. She had gotten no sleep last night. I placed a stray strand of lovely hair behind her ear. Ever since the day she had held my hand, I had wanted to touch her, but not like this. Ever since the day she had given me that sad smile, I knew she had never felt true happiness, and I thought I could have given it to her. Ever since I had first laid eyes on her, I had known she would look beautiful between myself and the bed sheets, but I had not pictured it this way. I had, for the first time in my life, felt true happiness and comfort, all because of her. Had she known? If she had, would it have made a difference?

I began to think, "If only." If only I hadn't let her go home. If only I had defended her when Sasuke had confronted us. If only I had found the courage earlier. If only I had learned the words before this. If only I had come back for her. If only I hadn't kept my mouth shut for so long. If only she had known...

How much I love her...


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17The Dream of Sasuke A/N: Sasuke's point of view, another short one. 

I had woken that morning to the sounds of dogs outside my window, I still couldn't believe I had been able to fall asleep. Even if it was to the nightmares of Tsukasa's angry screams, and tearful eyes. I knew I should not have been so possessive, so self-absorbed, she had been right, but I would never admit it. I got out of my bed, it was about five in the morning, so I went for a walk to clear my mind. Maybe afterwards I would be able to make the right decision in context with Tsukasa, then again, I might have been just as headstrong as my brother. Although, my brother seemed much more likable than myself at the moment, unheard of, I know, but true.

While on my walk I saw him in the window of a small house, that bastard who thought he was anywhere near good enough for Tsukasa. I snuck up to the roof by the window where he was standing in the mirror, perhaps he was saying something I could use against him. I peaked in and listened hard for his voice, he was looking at himself in the mirror. I leaned in a bit closer and then I heard it, "Tsukasa, I love you." He sighed then said it again, "I love you, Tsukasa? ...Damn! Why doesn't it sound right?" I backed away from the window, Gaara was trying to confess his love.

"Damn it," I muttered as I left the roof and walked away, my hands deep in my pockets, my head hung low. "Why couldn't I do that?" I asked myself, Why couldn't I just say it to her straight, instead of making her think I wanted to own her. "It's because you're an idiot, Sasuke!" I kicked myself, "You're beyond stupidity at this point, Sasuke...Uke-chan..." I said her nickname for me with tenderness. It sounded so much better when she said it, after all, she had been the only one to ever use that name and live to speak about it. I liked the name when she used it, there was something about her that just made me forget myself, but then she made me into an animal. I lost all impulse control when faced with her, and that was why I would claim that I owned her like some thing, some animal to be owned.

No, if anyone was an animal, I was. I was a stupid, brutish animal. Tsukasa had every right to hate me, but then, no matter what she said, I knew she never really would. She was too loving and caring a person to actually hate anyone, no matter how much they deserved it.

I came upon a small park, where swings squeaked as they swayed back and forth in the breeze. I sat on one of the swings, resting my feet in the cool sand, watching the grains as they rolled along the ground. I hated myself, for everything, for what I had become, for what I had done, for what I had wished to do, just for being me. I sighed and threw my head back, watching the sky with blank eyes. It was dark still, but the sun would be rising soon enough, and I would have to return to the motel. But what would I do when I saw Tsukasa again? Would I act as though nothing had happened? No. Would I treat her as though she did not exist? No, I could never. Should I apologize? Of course! But how would I go about doing it?

I could take her aside, make sure we were in private, then just tell her honestly and kindly that I was sorry and that I would make sure to never do it again. Or I could apologize right there in front of everyone else, stand there in front of everyone and announce my wrongdoing and swear that I would never do anything like it ever again. No, that was a bit too overzealous for me, she would think I was acting. No, I want to present myself in a way that is purely me. I would take her off to the side, but I wont be mushy like Naruto would be, but I wouldn't be pushy. I would try and tell her in the best way I can get it out, I would do my very best not to make her angry.

I worked out every detail of my apology in my mind, though it had taken longer than I thought it would. It was light out when I stopped thinking, so I decided to start making my way back to the motel. Tsukasa should have been waking up by then. That was what I had thought, anyway. It was about 7:30 a.m. when I got back, but the mood was definitely not anything like I had expected.

As soon as I walked into the room where everyone else was, I knew something was wrong. I especially knew something bad had happened when I saw Gaara and Lee, both with blood on their shirts. My eyes opened wide when I realized the one person who wasn't sitting there with the rest of them: Tsukasa!! "No!" I ran to her bedside, tears streaming down my cheeks as I looked down upon her bloodied body on the sheets. She had killed herself. But why?

Did she not know how much everyone loved her? Had no one told her that they cared? Had no one told her that she was the only thing that kept them alive? Had no one mentioned to her that she was life itself to some of them? Had he really forgotten to tell her that she was his world?

Had we really forgotten to say "I love you"?


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 Awakening, The End 

The light poured in through the opened window as the world around me came into view, I was in my bedroom where I had gone to sleep the night before. I saw my friends all sleeping around me, and none of us were ninjas. It had all been a dream, of course, something as wonderfully awful as that story could never happen to me. I was blessed with my friends, but cursed with loneliness, and neither of them would ever leave me. With a sigh I rolled out of my bed and fell onto the floor with a thud, but then I jumped to my feet and screamed. He should not have been here, I closed my eyes and turned to face my bed, then I opened my eyes once more. Once again I screamed, what he was doing in my bed I could never have guessed. I backed away from the bed and tripped over a still body, but when I saw the face I scrambled to my feet and trampled another one.

Finally, overwhelmed with terror and confusion, I yelled at all of the sleeping figures in my room. "How the hell did all of you get into my bedroom?!" There was moaning and slight movement among them all, and one-by-one they awoke and sat up rubbing their eyes. The only one I was worried about, though, was the one who had been on my bed with me. I crawled up to him and tapped his scarred forehead, "You're you, right? Not Shukaku?" When his dark eyes opened, Gaara simply starred at me with a mixture of fear, astonishment, and joy. And before I knew what was happening I was being held by everyone in the room, every single person from my dream had their arms around me.

Gaara, being the closest to me, leaned in to whisper in my ear. His warm breath tickled my neck, and his words made my gut do flips. "I love you, Abbie. Please, do not ever leave me again." Then from behind me I hear Sasuke's voice saying the same thing, and then came Naruto's voice, then Ramona's and Rebecca's. Everyone in the room had exactly the same thing to say to me, all of them felt it necessary to tell me that they love me and that they do not want me gone.

I felt my eyes burn and my vision blurred, it had been too long since I had heard those words from anyone. And now everyone who meant anything to me was holding me close and saying those words, and for the first time in my life I felt the emptiness melt away. It was as though the hole within me had begun to fill in, and I was climbing out. The first step was something that I had not been able to do in years, and which now I was glad to be doing.

I wept. On Gaara's shoulder I sobbed openly. From the happiness that came with the love I was receiving, from the bitterness of all of those years wasted in solitude, from the fright at finally turning onto a new road and not knowing what was in store. One thing I knew, though, was that whatever awaited me down this new road, I would not face it alone. Fore my friends all stood by my side. I no longer followed along like a puppy, no longer lead like a god, but walked side-by-side with my friends. I had equals for the first time in my life, and it was wonderful.

Able to breathe again. Able to move again. Able to call for help for the first time. A fire blazed from my heart to the very tips of my fingers. Slowly awakening and I am perpetually loved.  
This is my reality, and my new beginning.


End file.
